Mealy-Mouthed Moron Menaced by Meanies with Mics

A friend of mine on Facebook recently lamented Trump’s childish hostility towards reporters who ask difficult questions (and many asking easy ones).  I agree: Trump has been a massive dick to hardworking journalists who are giving us real news, not the half-assed tripe that spills from his drooling mouth.

Naturally, his Facebook post rubbed a MAGAt the wrong way.  She spouted the usual right-wing excuses:  the press is out to make Trump look bad, they’re trying to trip him up with “gotcha” questions, they ask him the same thing over and over, blah-blah-fucking-blah.  It’s soooo tiresome and it shows a staggering willingness to gobble up whatever narrative their GOP overlords feed them.  But what else is new in Trumpland, right?

I can’t stand to watch his “press briefings” on COVID-19.  I just can’t ruin my day like that.  But I’ve seen many clips of his outbursts, and what I see is reporters asking him direct, important questions that trigger him into a weird kind of attack mode.  He interrupts, he stammers, he calls them names, insults them and their work…instead of just answering the questions.  This is why reporters ask him the same question again and again: they never get a straight answer!

Someone from NBC News asked him, “What do you say to Americans, who are watching you right now, who are scared?” Instead of showing leadership and strength (as if!), he flipped his goddamn wig.  “I say that you’re a terrible reporter!  That’s what I say.  I think it’s a very nasty question and I think it’s a very bad signal that you’re putting out to the American people.”  So….was that question trying to trick him into taking “blame” for the virus?  Or was it something every national leader gets asked in a time of crisis, when citizens need reassurance that their government is here to help?  Gee, let me think…

Another reporter asked why America still lags behind countries like South Korea on testing per capita, and he snapped, “You should be saying congratulations instead of asking a really snarky question.”  Congratulations?  On what, the fact that our testing lags FAR behind these other countries?  Oh that’s right, he takes responsibility for nothing.  And rather than answer a difficult question, he stomps his little foot and pouts.  Because he’s a fucking toddler.

The idea that those naughty reporters and the EEEvil Media are trying to make him look incompetent is a fairy tale cooked up by Fox News and OAN.  He certainly doesn’t need them for that — he’s an old pro at it.

Christians vs. Reality (Spoiler: reality is winning)

With the terrorizing spread of COVID-19, brave Christians all over America have decided to show just how defiant and unafraid they are. A virus? We can’t even see it! How can it hurt us? Jesus will protect us! And that’s why you have crap memes like this flooding social media:

Because, naturally, Christians feel compelled to scream to the world just how deep and strong their belief is, at every available opportunity. They just won’t shut up about it. Is something bad happening in the world? You can bet there’s a bunch of very vocal Christians somewhere on the internet telling anyone and everyone that Jesus will protect them, they have no fear, bring it on because God is watching over them. Well la-de-fuckin-da, aren’t you the special chosen ones! Nobody asked how devout you are, and nobody but you actually cares.

And now that this Coronavirus has been wreaking havoc across the globe, Christians have a whole new stage where they can do their song and dance of defiance for everyone to see. Defiance against what? Oh, all sorts of things: common sense, rationality, the safety of others, proven science, self-preservation, and hard evidence, just to name a few.

Here are some stellar examples of Christians being spectacularly irresponsible, courtesy of The Friendly Atheist, which has been tracking this stuff since the outbreak:

• God Will Defeat COVID-19 “In 10 Days,” Said Two Christians More Than 10 Days Ago
• Colorado Pastor: I’m Ignoring All COVID-19 Safety Rules That Aren’t in the Bible
• Louisiana Pastor Brings 26 Busloads of Passengers Together for Sunday Services
• Despite COVID-19, Jerry Falwell, Jr. Wants Students and Staff Back at Liberty U.
• Christian-Owned Hobby Lobby Refuses to Close All Stores During Pandemic
• Here’s a Picture of Mike Pence’s Team Attempting to Pray Away Coronavirus

This was posted to someone’s Facebook and was later hidden from view, but I saved a copy knowing it wouldn’t be around long…

So…what makes Christians behave this way? How can they possibly think this virus won’t affect them, despite the thousands of people it’s already killed all over the world? Do they really think all those dead people in Italy weren’t devout enough? Now, that’s a stretch.

Krishnamurti once said, “The constant assertion of belief is an indication of fear.” I think we can also say it’s an indication of doubt, and in a crisis it can serve as a weird sort of defense mechanism. I think they know that the virus doesn’t give one flipping shit about their beliefs — in fact, it’s directly challenging the power of their belief because their prayers obviously aren’t working:

• A KY Church Ignored Social Distancing Advice; Now, a Worshiper Has COVID-19 Uh-oh.
• Ignoring Virus, an IL Church Held Services; Now Most of the Congregation is Sick Well, what do you know.
• Virginia Pastor Who Said COVID-19 Was Anti-Trump “Mass Hysteria” Dies of Virus Whoops. Didn’t see that coming.

That 2nd one is a doozy. He made a big deal out of his scorn for what those know-nothing experts are telling us, and he apparently said “As long as I walk in the light of that law of the Spirit of life, no germ will attach itself to me” on Facebook. He also indicated the media was over-hyping the problem, and that it’s just a way for people to attack Trump, and other predictable stuff. Then he took his entire family to mingle with the crowds in New Orleans, hoping to save some of them from sin (sigh). Well, now he’s gone. Maybe it was what Jesus wanted.

Christians apply magical thinking to everyday life, which is basically how religion works, but it’s especially convenient in a crisis like this. If a devout Christian doesn’t get the virus, he’ll undoubtedly hail this as proof of Jesus’ protection. If he does get the virus and lives, that’s proof of Jesus’ protection and he passed a test of his faith. If he gets the virus and dies, fellow Christians will just say it was part of God’s plan. See? With blind faith, any shitty event is a win!

I fully realize that this is why religion exists: to give some hope and meaning to our existence in this world that doesn’t care if we live or die. But that doesn’t mean you have to be an idiot with your behavior. If you believe in a god, then you have to believe that he/she/it also gave you the ability to reason, which helps you survive. What these people are doing is letting their religious programming shut off that built-in reason and common sense. They willfully ignore all the information given to them, letting religion override their survival instinct, and then they end up getting sick. They basically think the Bible should overrule what experts say about anything, hoping they’ll be rewarded in Heaven, and I think it’s going to get a lot more of them killed before this is all over. It’s not very pro-life, is it?

Should we feel sorry for these people? I feel they should be given care when they get themselves sick, but I don’t feel much pity for them and their conscious choice to be ignorant and reckless with their health and the safety of others.

Longtime smoker somehow gets cancer

So Rush Limbaugh has lung cancer.  Well, isn’t that interesting.  Here’s my little personal history with this guy.

In the early 90’s, when I left home and moved to Phoenix to do the college thing, I discovered Rush on the radio.  To my small-town mind, which hadn’t been exposed to a lot of politics (and before then I didn’t really care about it), he seemed to make a lot of sense.  I loved his parody songs, some of which were wickedly clever, and his over-simplified way of pitting Us. vs. Them felt right.  Liberals were the ones destroying America, they were the danger to be conquered at any cost!  And I believed him.  I really didn’t know any better.  Yes, I knew I was gay, but I hadn’t come out to anyone officially and I didn’t really feel the need to.  So I went along with it, thinking I was a conservative and hyping Rush to everyone I knew.  My mom was delighted when I told her about him, and she became a massive fan and longtime listener (much to my shame years later).  I laughed when he called women “feminazis.”  I chortled when he basically called Chelsea Clinton an ugly dog.  I cheered him on while he ranted scandalously for countless hours about Whitewater and Vince Foster’s suicide and Bill Clinton’s alleged affairs.  America, fuck yeah!!

But the longer I lived in Phoenix, and the more I began looking around and exposing myself to different ways of seeing the world, the less certain I was about calling myself a conservative.  Rush began to sound a little…crazy.  His conspiratorial spiels got stale, and I began to realize that it’s all just fluff that preys on peoples’ insecurities.  White peoples’ insecurities, to be more specific.  So I just tuned him out, feeling I’d outgrown him.  A few years later, in late 1999 (literally the last day), I moved to Seattle to start a new life.  I was exposed to more culture and political views, came out to everyone officially, and further cemented my position as an outspoken Liberal.  You know, the ones who are supposed to destroy America and all that?  Uh-huh.  I felt like I’d finally reached the Age of Reason.

During visits to my little hometown, though, my mom still had him on the radio all the time, which was upsetting.  She was still hooked, and by this time Fox News has started to become part of her daily news intake as well, which didn’t help things at all.  Fox News became ten times worse than Limbaugh, delivering carefully-crafted fear and paranoia targeted directly at her demographic:  the aging boomer.  It was a double whammy that changed our relationship forever, leading to many political arguments about stupid shit that I knew she was far too smart to believe, yet they convinced her anyway.  To her credit, though, my mom was 100% accepting of me as her gay son and always supported marriage equality.  She immediately accepted my partner (later husband) without blinking an eye, which I’ll always be grateful for.

My mom died suddenly a couple of months ago.  We stopped arguing about politics about a year before Trump was elected (she said he scared her, interestingly), but I’ve always regretted introducing her to Rush Limbaugh — chances are she would have found out about him somehow anyway, but I’ll never forgive myself for contributing to the poisoning of her mind and worldview that way.

OK, back to Rush.  Now, I’d never wish cancer on anyone.  What a horrible way to go.  Cancer killed my dad a couple of years ago, and it has claimed several other family members and friends over the years.  But when I found out that Limbaugh already has advanced lung cancer…I smiled.  The phrase “Reap what you sow” came to mind.  For one thing, he’s smoked cigars for ages, because he doesn’t think it’s necessarily bad for you.  But more importantly for me, this man has spewed bigotry and lies for decades, to millions of listeners to gladly eat it up without question.  He’s contributed to the culture of assholery that has become part of the conservative norm:  publicly troll and ridicule the innocent and weak, champion authoritarian ideas, cheer for the corrupt billionaire class, tear down those who would make our world a cleaner and safer place to live, exploit his listeners’ racist tendencies, support Trump 100% no matter how many laws he breaks…Limbaugh’s legacy is undeniably toxic and has done massive damage to our political culture and discourse.  He basically opened the door for self-serving monsters like Trump, which is unforgivable.  (Naturally, Trump asked him to put off his cancer treatment so he could attend the SOTU address and receive a totally-unearned “medal of freedom” for some reason.  Classic Trump, LOL.)

And as a side note, apparently Rush is super friendly with God now:

I told the staff today that I have a deeply personal relationship with God that I do not proselytize about. But I do, and I have been working that relationship tremendously, which I do regularly anyway, but I’ve been focused on it intensely for the past couple of weeks.

Well, now.  The man dedicates his life to spreading hate, lies, and division, then figures he’ll assure his spot in Heaven by gettin’ good with God at the end.  Why is he doing that, if he felt in his heart he was doing righteous work all his life?  People like him always think they’re doing righteous, godly work.  Could it be that he’s got some regrets?  Might there be some doubt about his “guaranteed” arrival in Heaven?  If God exists, he/she/it isn’t going to overlook the damage you’ve done, so prepare for your life review at His feet, Rush.  It’s gonna be pretty cringey.

So yeah, I’m not feeling one tiny shred of sympathy for this cancer-riddled old man.  Unlike most Americans, he’ll have the best treatment money can buy and he’ll likely die in absolute comfort with an endless supply of happy pills.  I predict he’ll get a hero’s burial, broadcast live on Fox News, while famous right-wingers fling their weeping bodies onto his coffin and mourn the loss of such a valiant soul.  On social media there will be weeks of public weeping, gnashing of teeth, rending of garments, and all that other dramatic shit.  And then, finally, he will be gone.

In fact, the public teeth-gnashing has already begun on social media.  I can barely bring myself to read any of it.  Right-wingers on Facebook and Twitter are oh so appalled that some might be glad to be rid of him, even cheering for his death, and their fairweather outrage is pretty comical considering their absolute lack of compassion in so many other ways.  Kids torn from their parents’ arms and babies dying in Trump’s border camps?  Those brown people deserve it!  But this right-wing radio guy gets cancer and HOW DARE YOU NOT WEEP??  Let’s see what happens when Obama falls ill or dies — these “compassionate conservatives” will be dancing in the streets, I guarantee it.

So let them mourn their precious radio guy.  As for the rest of us, we’ll be fine.  We won’t shed a single fucking tear.

On the record

Nearly 20 years ago I took the plunge and began moving all my music into the digital world, ripping hundreds of CDs to MP3.  Years later I did the same to my DVDs and Blu-rays, converting everything to video files in one giant library.  So basically I abandoned physical media as much as possible, which was great…mostly because back then I moved to a new apartment every couple of years, and it was always such a pain in the ass to pack up, move, and unpack giant, heavy boxes of discs and their little plastic boxes over and over again.  Remember those tall spinning racks that held 100 CDs each?  Yeah, I had several of those…and every time I had to pack them up and move them I hated them more and more!  It was such a huge relief to just dump everything onto my hard drive (or, ironically, CDs full of music files) and just be done with it.  So I ripped apart all my CD cases and saved the artwork, slapped all my CDs onto 100-disc spindles, and that was that.  Since going 99.5% all-digital I’ve chosen to buy/download digital copies of everything, which has been fine.

But recently I started doing something I never, ever thought I’d be doing:  buying vinyl LPs again.  No, I’m not a mustachioed hipsterdouche who liked everything before you’d ever heard of it.  I’m also not an audiophile, though I do think there’s a difference there.  For me, it’s mostly a way to connect to something from my childhood and teenage years that I’d almost forgotten about.

The start of a teenage addiction.

Memory time!  In the 70’s, my dad was a D.J. in Los Angeles at the mega-station KFI (his call name was Roger Collins — he died a couple of years ago but his legacy lives on via his Facebook page).  My brother and I still lived in Arizona, but my dad would always send us promo LPs when they went out of rotation — so when we were kids we had a steady stream of cool records coming to us, which was how we enjoyed a lot of music that was otherwise hard to come by in our little country-music town.  We had a steady supply of popular bands coming in, though I remember The Bee Gees and Donna Summer most.

I grew out of LPs when tapes came along, though I did listen to a lot of records as a teenager when I discovered 12″ remixes.  To this day, all those hours spent in my bedroom listening to 45s and LPs on my crappy little player and speakers come flooding back every time I slap the 12″ remix of “She Bop”, the first remix I ever bought, onto the platter.  (This was long before the 90’s came along and ruined remixes for me almost forever — they’d take a song you loved and completely annihilate it, leaving barely a lyric or two to remind you of the original.  But I digress…)

Back to the digital age.  Over the years I’ve mostly dismissed the vinyl resurgence as a hipster fetish for old things, and there’s always that guy you know who insists that vinyl sounds better than anything else.  I used to just roll my eyes and continue downloading, downloading, downloading.  Who has the space and money for all those records?  Why settle for vinyl when you can choose from hundreds of thousands of songs at any given moment and play whatever you like, in the order you want?

And that became part of the problem.  After nearly 20 years of amassing digital music with abandon, I have over 75,000 songs, which iTunes tells me would take 205 days to play.  Even after converting most of it to more space-efficient formats, it all takes up around 223GB on my system.  Not only is that far more music than anyone could ever want or hope to listen to, but it’s a challenge to keep regular backups of it all.  I have so much music I can barely decide what to listen to, and that doesn’t even include Spotify which I use often for new music.  It’s insane.  There’s stuff in my collection that I don’t even remember getting, or why I even have it.  And yet there it is.

I can’t remember what triggered it, but at some point a couple of years ago I began to remember how much I used to enjoy playing records when I was younger.  It used to be so exciting to get a new record and bring it home, study the sleeve artwork closely, slide a fingernail down the side to open the shrink-wrap and peel it off, and pull out the disc which usually crackled with static electricity.  That stuff really began to appeal to me because I have so many great memories associated with it.

So my husband and I said “Fuck it, let’s get a turntable.”  Both of us have kept our oldest and most treasured records in storage for decades, hauling them from place to place when we moved, so we were able to pull those out and begin enjoying them again.  We buy new music almost exclusively on vinyl now, if it’s something we really want.  And we’ve begun filling in the gaps in our collection with new & used copies of our favorite albums from years past.  eBay, Amazon, and Discogs.com have gotten a lot of money from our record shopping, as well as some local shops (though they usually don’t have some of the weirder, more obscure stuff we want).  We try to find the best deal, though sometimes I go a little crazy.  Did I really need that Devo box set?  Or that extremely limited edition Okami soundtrack on 4 clear, color-spattered discs which is absolutely gorgeous?  Probably not, but goddammit I enjoy it.  And yes, most of it does sound brighter and warmer than the cold, flat digital stuff.  The hipsters and audiophiles were right on that one, I have to admit.

And you know what?  When I play a record, 95% of the time I play it all the way through, both sides, and I actually listen to it.  The physical format of vinyl makes playing music a more deliberate act, which somehow makes me want to focus on it more closely.  With music from my phone, I can flip through dozens of playlists and genres looking for something, then skip it halfway through and move to something else.  Hello, short attention span and instant gratification.  With records, unless it’s a super shitty song (and there are some that I used to like but can’t stand now) I actually want to just let it play.  I don’t know what that is, but I like it.  Even if there are crackles and the occasional skip on the older ones, I’m fine with it.  People who grew up on nothing but digital music are starting to appreciate this, too — vinyl is becoming hugely popular with those folks, as the very concept of music on a physical medium is new and novel to them.  I can’t imagine what that must feel like.  (Unfortunately they’re also getting into cassette tapes, which I was more than happy to abandon on the trash heap decades ago.)

Anyway, thus ends the blathering ruminations of an old fart and his occasional wallowing in nostalgia…for now.

Hooray, now we have socio-political rage spam for penis pills

I’ve seen a LOT of spam over the past couple of decades.  I’ve seen every pitch, every clickbait subject line, every phony email supposedly from one of my contacts.  It’s just old hat by now, and I don’t even see spam emails anymore unless I go into the folder they get swept into by Gmail’s amazing filters.

But recently I looked in there for the hell of it, and I found this.  I have to say this is something completely new to me.  This spam has a very specific target: misogynist right-wing douchebags.  You know them well — they’re the guys who complain about “radical SJWs” anytime someone condemns racism or the mistreatment of women.  The guys who harass and threaten women on social media simply for saying something.  The guys who rage-shit their diapers when women have major roles in big-budget movies.  The guys who proudly call themselves “incels” and hate women because their asshole personalities can’t get them laid.

This spam is targeted directly at this type, and frankly it’s the most needlessly inflammatory one I’ve seen in ages.  It’s carefully crafted, ridiculing them for being impotent and somehow blaming “angry feminists” for it, as well as all their other troubles.  It’s utterly and laughably ridiculous, but also a little upsetting if you imagine how it affects the type of guy it targets.  I’ve never seen anything like it.

Angry Feminists Hate THIS (…)
Because they can’t stand that it’s giving men an unfair advantage in the bedroom.Given the heated social climate in America…
It’s only a matter of time before angry feminists…
Get their way and have this video censored forever.
So if you want to see what all of the fuss is about…

Click here to see the penis enlarging trick FEMINISTS HATE.
The truth is that most raging feminists…
Would rather have you suffer from ED…
Or any other problem in the bedroom…
Than have you see this controversial trick that has them RAGING mad.

Click here to see the penis enlarging trick FEMINISTS HATE.
P.S. The truth is there’s a war going on in America…
And it doesn’t involve guns or violence…
It’s a war against your manhood.
That’s why you must watch this video…
Before feminist get it taken down and censored forever.

Click here to see the penis enlarging trick FEMINISTS HATE.

News from the American Hellscape: Bullets and Bullshit

This “invasion” nonsense has been spouted by racist nutjobs for decades.  I remember in the mid-90’s there was a lot of frothy-mouthed hysteria about the “Aztlan conspiracy”, which claims that illegal immigrants are slowly and methodically invading the Southwest U.S. in an effort to re-colonize it and magically turn it into their own country.  Yeah…totally plausible.  This idea lives on today, spouted by the NRA and its mouth-breathing supporters.  And when unhinged guys with access to ridiculously powerful guns actually believe such obvious fairytales, it’s not much of a leap for them to take the next step of killing brown people in the name of “preserving American sovereignty” or whatever made-up excuse they can come up with.

The NRA Has Long Urged Americans To Arm Themselves Against An Immigrant Invasion

In 2013, LaPierre wrote an apocalyptic op-ed in The Daily Caller, a conservative outlet that has published white nationalists. LaPierre’s op-ed, titled “Stand and Fight,” was eerily similar to the manifesto reportedly written by the El Paso shooter, as well as those written by the attackers in Christchurch, New Zealand, and Poway, California.

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Meanwhile, Mike Huckabee took a break from his full-time job of fellating Satan to tap out some tweets about how gun violence can only be stopped by prayer and absolutely nothing else.  Because it’s worked so well already, right?

Mike Huckabee: Thoughts And Prayers Are ‘Only Thing’ That Will Stop Mass Shootings

On Monday, the former Arkansas governor and twice Republican presidential candidate wrote a post on his blog where he attempted to make the case that “thoughts and prayers” are “the only thing that’s ever really going to help.”  Huckabee said mass shootings will never stop until “kids are brought up once again to believe that we are all made in the image of God, that life is sacred and superficial differences like skin color are meaningless.”

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And here we have the standard “blame the homos for mass shootings, because why not” post from a clueless Republican politician, someone who likely also believes vaccines cause autism, the earth is only 6,000 years old, gay marriage causes deadly hurricanes, Jesus was a blue-eyed white guy, contrails are targeted poisonings for population control, and the moon landing never happened.  Jeezus — someone please take this bitch to a drag show and let her experience a little joy in her life already.

Ohio GOP Lawmaker Blames Mass Shootings On Trans People, Gay Marriage And More

“The breakdown of the traditional American family (thank you, transgender, homosexual marriage, and drag queen advocates); fatherlessness, a subject no one discuses or believes is relevant; the ignoring of violent video games; the relaxing of laws against criminals (open borders); the acceptance of recreational marijuana; failed school policies (hello parents who defend misbehaving students); disrespect to law enforcement (thank you, Obama); hatred of our veterans (thank you, professional athletes who hate our flag and National Anthem); the Dem Congress, many members whom are open anti-Semitic; the culture, which totally ignores the importance of God and the church (until they elect a President); state officeholders, who have no interest whatsoever in learning about our Constitution and the Second Amendement; and snowflakes, who can’t accept a duly-elected President.”

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Meanwhile, the Cheeto-in-Chief acted predictably shitty by using dozens of dead brown people (his favorite kind of brown people, apparently) as an opportunity to get in some “good” campaign photos.  Such empathy and class!

Trump Slammed For Tone-Deaf ‘Photo-Op’ With El Paso Orphan

None of the eight victims still being treated at El Paso’s University Medical Center agreed to meet with Trump during his visit, The Washington Post reported. A hospital official told CNN that the general assessment was that there was an “absence of empathy” from Trump. During his hospital visit, the president boasted about the crowd size at his campaign rally in El Paso earlier this year and called former Rep. Beto O’Rourke, a city native and Democratic presidential candidate, “crazy.”

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And then we have this:  a dipshit who thinks he’s being super clever walks into a Wal-Mart fully armed and armored, just days after another Wal-Mart was sprayed with bullets that killed 22 people.  Predictably, people freaked out and he was arrested.  He wanted to “test” his Second Amendment rights (sigh), and by his logic, the fact that it ended this way somehow proves that his rights were infringed.  What a prick.  This “reasoning” is a perfect snapshot of America as were being held hostage by open-carry fetishists who basically think they’re above the law.  They get off on putting guns in peoples’ faces and telling them not to worry — I think it gives them some kind of hero boner or something.  The fact that he put so much time and effort into this bullshit stunt (and even livestreamed it) proves this.

Armed Man Who Sparked Panic In Missouri Walmart Was Conducting ‘Social Experiment’

He was carrying an AR-style rifle and had a handgun attached to his hip, which was also loaded. While in the store, he appeared to be taking a video of himself with his cellphone as he pushed a shopping cart. An employee then pulled the fire alarm to alert customers to leave the building, and an off-duty firefighter took him into custody until police arrived. No shots were fired and no one was injured.

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And finally, we have a predictably shitty response from a Republican congressman when one of his supporters said illegal immigrants should be shot.  He didn’t shut the man down and condemn the idea of killing immigrants, oh no.  Instead, he corrected the guy on exactly which type of immigrants should be shot.  It’s stunning, and yet…should we expect any different from today’s Trumpublicans?

Republican congressman silent as constituent urges shooting immigrants

The congressman, who goes by the twitter handle @DocAbraham, was speaking at a meeting of the extremist “Acadiana Patriots” Thursday when one of the members began ranting against immigrants and pro-immigrant members of Congress.

“I think some of these people, whoever they are, ought to be shot,” said the man.

“Let me jump in here,” said the congressman who would be governor. “Many of those apprehended are not Hispanic, they are Chinese, Pakistani, Indian.”

News from the American Hellscape: Conservative Assholes Raising a Stink

Well this is something to brighten anyone’s day:  the Nazi twat who runs the Daily Stormer website will have to pay out the wazoo to answer for his stupid racist crimes.  What an unmitigated asshole.  I hope he goes broke and ends up on the soup line somewhere.  That is, if he ever comes out of hiding — apparently he’s cowering somewhere overseas, something these ultra-right provocateurs like to do when their bullshit catches up with them.  (How soon can we get Alex Jones to do the same?)

Judge Says Neo-Nazi Andrew Anglin Must Pay Muslim Comedian $4.1 Million

A federal judge awarded a Muslim-American radio host $4.1 million in monetary damages Wednesday after he successfully sued a neo-Nazi website operator who falsely accused him of terrorism.

SiriusXM Radio show host Dean Obeidallah filed the civil complaint against The Daily Stormer founder Andrew Anglin, who hasn’t responded to Obeidallah’s libel lawsuit. Anglin’s whereabouts are unclear.

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Here we go: the religious conservative persecution complex is in full bloom with this one.  This is directly from today’s right-wing playbook: spout conspiracies and medical misinformation that has deadly consequences, and when someone calls you on your bullshit, throw a persecution tantrum and declare it all a plot to silence God’s chosen people (or whatever nonsense they can come up with).  This is far easier than, you know, proving your “facts”.  Hey Mr. “Health Ranger”, here’s an idea: why not leave Facebook and stick to that one social network that promotes “free speech no matter what”, the one all the neo-Nazi types love?  Or go start your own goddamn social network and take all your trolling, believe-anything followers with you.  It’ll be a gigantic feedback loop of crazy, religion-fueled bullshit — a pseudoscience circle-jerk, if you will.  But at least you won’t have pesky critical-thinking types holding you responsible for your moronic “news”.

Facebook Suspends Natural News, Founder Calls for President Trump to Use Military Against Tech Giants

Facebook has suspended Natural News from posting on the social media platform where it has amassed almost 3 million followers. Natural News, which pushes wild conspiracy theories and once published an injectable DIY homeopathic “vaccine” for Ebola, had already been banned from Twitter and YouTube. The site was also blacklisted by Google in 2017.

Founder Mike Adams, who calls himself the Health Ranger, called the Facebook suspension an “online ethnic cleansing” that’s being carried out by people who are hoping to “enslave humanity and create Hell on Earth.” Adams also called for military action against the social media companies.

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When I saw the headline “Wasps invade Alabama”, I immediately wondered: “The insects?  Or the people?”  I also wonder if any of Alabama’s residents see this as a punishment of pestilence from God.  I mean, if God can punish California with earthquakes and fires for its embracing of [insert thing Christians hate here], is it so far-fetched to say he’s punishing Alabama for the way it treats many of its residents as subhuman?

Wasps invade Alabama

In this photograph, shared by entomologist Charles Ray, is the fate of an alarmingly high number of Alabama gutters, overhangs, soffits and corbels: “super nests” housing as many as 15000 wasps.

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And then there’s this, because America is now run by a giant bloated toddler.  I’ll bet his drooling supporters are buying these in bulk just to feel superior in some small way.

Now Trump Is Selling Overpriced Straws To Thirsty Fans Just To Own The Libs

President Donald Trump’s campaign is offering an unusual new item for sale: commemorative plastic straws with the president’s name on them.  “Liberal paper straws don’t work,” claims a tweet promoting the straws.  The Team Trump account then asks supporters to “stand with President Trump” by using his special “laser-engraved” plastic straws at just $15 for a pack of 10 (plus shipping). Typically, 1,000 plastic straws retail for about $10, making the Trump straws 150 times more expensive.

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Thoughts and prayers, y’all.  And let’s not forget that the N.R.A. has been funded by Russian oligarchs for a few years now (there’s documented proof of this, for you fake-newsers).  This is an organization as un-American and un-patriotic as it is rabid about its gun fetish.  The day the news breaks that the N.R.A. has disbanded in shame and bankruptcy is the day I’ll be dancing a fuckin’ jig out in the street, cocktail in each hand!

N.R.A. Shuts Down Production of NRATV, and Its No. 2 Official Resigns

The development is the latest in an already tumultuous year for the N.R.A. The gun group has struggled to right its finances; faced investigations in Congress and by the New York attorney general; and witnessed a leadership struggle that pitted Oliver North, until recently the N.R.A.’s president, against Mr. LaPierre.

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This is old news, but what I jotted down at the time was:  What the fuck is wrong with Republicans today, when they turn tail and run away to prevent a vote on something they disagree with, rather than just voting against it?  Is this what America is now?  Are Republicans in other states going to pull the same stunt?  They are clearly trying to emulate Trump, who does whatever he wants no matter how unorthodox, unethical, or even illegal, and he faces zero repercussions because the GOP will defend him to the bitter end to maintain their power.  They obviously think it will work the same way for them, and they’re probably right.  Oregon should hold a quick election to replace these infantile GOP shitbags with people who actually take the office of Senator seriously.  Oh, and get a load of that quote from Boquist.  Wow, such a tough and super-manly attitude!  Such machoness!  Such a prick.

In a bid to avoid climate vote, Oregon Republican Senators cross state lines, go into hiding, threaten to murder cops, as white nationalist paramilitaries pledge armed support

Oregon’s legislature is about to vote on a piece of climate change cap-and-trade legislation that the Democratic majority are likely to win, so to avoid the vote, 12 Oregon state senators have gone into hiding, thus depriving the senate of the necessary quorum.

Meanwhile, the AWOL Republicans are widely believed to be hiding out of state — the Oregon state cops are coordinating with neighboring states’ law enforcement to locate them — and Republican State Senator Brian Boquist issued this communique from his undisclosed bunker: “Send bachelors and come heavily armed. I’m not going to be a political prisoner.”

News from the American Hellscape: Blasphemy Burgers

Only in America will someone take a fantastic invention that could save the lives of millions of animals and turn it into a hysterical religious shitfest.

Christian TV Host: Meatless Burgers Are Satanic Plot To Create ‘Race Of Soulless Creatures’

“When you go to your favorite fast food restaurant, you are going to be eating a fake hamburger. You’re going to go to the grocery store and buy a pound of fake hamburger or a fake steak, and you won’t know that it was grown in some big corporation’s laboratory. This is the nightmare world that they are taking us into. They’re changing God’s creation. Why? Because they want to be God.”

Creating veggie burgers is “wanting to be God” and “changing God’s creation”?  Please tell me where I can find a meat burger that God created.  Following their logic, airplanes are also tools of Satan because God never meant for us to fly.

If you must look at this through a religious lens (sigh), aren’t they just taking the plants that God created and shaping them into a different form for our enjoyment?  Nah, that idea is too crazy.

This is just one of many unhinged things he’s said over the years.  I wonder what happened to this guy as a kid to transform him into the raving, drooling lunatic he is today.  For fuck’s sake, somebody get him into therapy before he hurts someone.  A mind that believes this kind of stuff is not a healthy one.

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This goes for any religion: if your faith is threatened by some satirical jabs on a T.V. show, maybe your faith isn’t as strong as you think.  This is fiction, something you should be familiar with.  Relax, snowflakes — your religion is still heavily dominant in this country, and it isn’t going to collapse under the influence of a satirical T.V. show.

Oh yeah, and if you’re going to protest a TV show, at least to take the time to figure out what channel/service it’s on so your protest goes to the right place.  Jesus.

Thousands of Christians Demand That Netflix Cancel a Show It Does Not Air

Some mistakes are simply too beautiful to have happened by accident—too comical to be explained by anything other than divine intervention. See, for instance, a recent petition from a Christian group calling on Netflix to cancel Good Omens,which the group considers “another step to make satanism appear normal, light and acceptable.” The problem, of course, is that Netflix does not air Good Omens; it’s an Amazon Prime series.

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So this company used to copy DVDs and Blu-Rays, then bleep out naughty words and snip out nudity and/or violence.  Then they’d stream the final version to people who are so fragile that exposure to such content would shatter their very reality.  Here’s how I envision these folks watching unfiltered shows:

“He said the F-word!  Nooooooo!”  [rends garments]

“I just saw a breast!  Gaaahhhhh!!”  [stabs eye out with fork]

Anyway, the company was busted for piracy and sued into the ground.  But somehow they stuck around, and then they started pirating and chopping up shows from streaming services, amazingly thinking they would be OK doing that.  Nope.

VidAngel Hit with $62.4 Million Judgment for Pirating Movies

VidAngel ripped movies from DVD copies, and then streamed them to users with offensive content filtered out. The company argued this was allowed under the federal Family Movie Act, but Birotte did not agree and ordered the service to shut down in December 2016. The company later relaunched a filtering service for Netflix and Amazon, which continues to operate.

How could they possibly think that breaking copyright protection and sharing the content was in any way legal?  I remember a similar service many years ago that would do this to movies on videotape — they’d bleep and snip away all the bad (good) stuff, then copy them to new tapes and rent them to the aforementioned fragile types.  It didn’t work out then, and it ain’t working out now.

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She fed him bleach to treat his autism.  BLEACH.  The same stuff we use to clean clothing, scrub toilets and tubs, and all that good stuff.  And because she saw a video about its “health benefits” on YouTube, it’s obviously a miracle cure.  What could go wrong?

Police Let Mom Keep Feeding Son Bleach After She Showed Them YouTube Videos, Doctor Approval

Search YouTube for “Miracle Mineral Solution” or “MMS” and you will find a trove of videos about how consuming bleach will treat various illnesses—acne, flu, malaria, HIV, hepatitis, cancer, and autism.

Why are people so willing to believe such obvious nonsense?  We’ve all been asking that question a lot these past few years.

News from the American Hellscape: Pride & Prickishness

Such petty bullshit coming from our government. But should we expect any better at this point?

Trump Administration Denies U.S. Embassies Permission To Fly Pride Flag

U.S. embassies in Germany, Israel, Brazil and Latvia requested permission from the State Department to fly the rainbow flag on their flagpoles and were denied, NBC News reported Friday, citing three unidentified American diplomats.

But wait! Some embassies are essentially telling Trump to shove his anti-gay flag policy right up his gnarled old cornhole. Some are flying giant rainbow flags anyway, and others are putting up rainbow lights, etc. Awesome.

Some U.S. embassies still hoisting rainbow flags, despite advisory from Washington

Since the State Department began rejecting all embassy requests to hoist rainbow flags outside the mission buildings during LGBTQ Pride Month this year, some U.S. diplomats have been finding ways to defy, or at least get around, the new policy.  Although most embassies seem to be toeing the line, the policy shift appears to have sparked something of a revolt among diplomats.

This is probably my favorite one, however:

Some embassies that have flown the flag in previous years opted this year to commemorate the month by posting on their websites President Trump’s statement affirming LGBT rights and inviting nations to join a global campaign to decriminalize homosexuality.

California’s Governor even called Trump’s bullshit:

CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR DEFIES TRUMP, FLIES RAINBOW FLAG OVER STATE CAPITOL DURING PRIDE MONTH

California Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered that for the remainder of Pride month the rainbow flag will fly above the state’s capitol building, directly flouting White House policy.  The rainbow flag was raised over the California capitol building, flying alongside the Stars and Stripes and the California state flag.

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Such compassion! Such Christlike behavior!

Tennessee Deputy, Pastor Calls For Execution Of LGBTQ People

A Tennessee deputy and pastor is being investigated by the District Attorney’s office after he gave a sermon calling for the government to round up and execute members of the LGBTQ community.

“Send the police in 2019 out to these LGBT freaks and arrest them,” Fritts continued. “Have a trial for them, and if they are convicted then they are to be put to death. Do you understand that? It’s a capital crime to be carried out by our government.”

Charming. You know, if Jesus came back today he’d slap the living shit out of this piece of trash. He did say something that made me laugh, though:

“I’m sick of sodomy getting crammed down our throats,” Fritts said during his sermon.

Um… If anyone was cramming sodomy somewhere, it probably wouldn’t be down your throat. You know?

Oh, he knows. It’s common knowledge these days that anyone this homophobic is hiding some seriously queer skeletons in his closet. It’s something we’ve seen a thousand times from a thousand vehemently anti-gay types, all of them crowing about the evils of homosexuality and how it’s “infecting” our country with…whatever. I think we should start taking bets on how many wangs this guy has had in his various orifices over his lifetime. 50? 200? Always done in strict secrecy, probably using church funds to keep the dudes quiet. You know it’s true! It’s only a matter of time before the story breaks, and I can’t wait…

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Wow.  This gay guy is the social media manager for the NRA.  He’s got some questions (and a bit of whining) for his fellow gayfolk.  Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?

I wish the gay community were more accepting of gun supporters. I should know.

If we in the gay community know we are frequent targets, why do we overwhelmingly oppose laws that protect our right to defend ourselves?

Typical NRA thinking: the only way you can be safe is carrying a gun around everywhere.  “Hey, let’s head out to the club!  Just let me grab my pistol.”  What kind of life is that?  And how is it safer if average citizens start walking around with automatic weapons?  What a sad, paranoid way to live your life.

Why do I find myself, at party after party, defending my decision to work for the NRA?

Well, let’s see.  How about…because you work for a corrupt and dangerous organization that glorifies weapons which can kill dozens of people in just a couple of minutes.  You know, like at the Pulse nightclub and dozens of other public places.  Do you really need more reasons?  There are quite a few more.

Why does my wanting to own a firearm make some gay people I meet accuse me of being self-hating?

Hmmm.  I’ll bet you’re a Republican too, because you’d pretty much have to be.  So maybe they think you’re self-hating because you’re aligning yourself with people who actively work to suppress and dehumanize gay people like yourself.  Ugh…gay Republicans are already insufferable, and adding gun-worship to the mix is especially gross.

Why is a community that prides itself on inclusion and tolerance so intolerant toward the Second Amendment, the NRA and those who believe in the right to self-defense?

To quote one of the comments on this article:  “It’s not that the gay community ‘is so hostile toward the Second Amendment’, it’s that we’re hostile towards the NRA because (I’ll stick to the facts and refrain from chanting obscenities) they’re divisive fraudulent money grubbing Trump supporting homophobic liars. They don’t exclusively OWN the second amendment and define what it means.”

This is exactly right.  The NRA is a shitty organization which has abused the Second Amendment for decades.  So fuck off with your self-pity — if you want to be liked, make yourself likeable.

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I’m happy to see this artist finally see a little bit of compensation for the abuse he and his art have taken at the hands of Nazi wannabes. Of course they’ll still use Pepe to their own stupid ends, but Alex Jones can’t even touch Pepe again. (Stay tuned for the follow-up story where he violates the agreement and does it anyway…)

InfoWars Must Pay Pepe the Frog Creator $15,000, Never Sell Pepe Merch Again in Settlement

InfoWars founder, conspiracy theorist, and tainted supplement pitchman Alex Jones has settled with artist Matt Furie, creator of the unfathomably widespread Pepe the Frog meme, for $15,000 after InfoWars used the image on an obnoxious poster it sold during the 2016 elections, Vice reported on Monday.

“Straight pride” and the hilariously pathetic self-victimization of conservative snowflakes

Ya gotta love it when straight bigots try to play the victim card.  It’s so cute how righteously indignant they are.  They actually think that by granting some people rights that have long been denied, it somehow diminishes the rights of everyone who already has them.  Especially straight white people — somehow they’re the most offended by anything like that, as if they haven’t had all the goddamn rights in the world for centuries.  These people must be staggeringly bored.

These ones in particular think they’re doing something suuuuper clever and counterculture: a “straight pride” parade.  Oh, that’ll give those gay queer faggots something to think about!  Well, something to laugh about is more like it…

It’s LGBT pride month, but three guys in Boston want a permit for a ‘Straight Pride’ parade

Pride Month kicks off in Boston on Tuesday with a lights event, a paint night — and preparations for a possible “Straight Pride Parade” this summer.  The event to celebrate heterosexuality in one of the nation’s most gay-friendly cities is meant to poke fun at the “identity politics” of the political left, organizer Mark Sahady wrote in a Facebook comment.

These are the same fuckwits who think there should be a “white pride month” because, you know, white people don’t get any attention these days and they’re sooooo persecuted and stuff.  Or those other fuckwits who get mortally upset when someone says “Happy Holidays!”, as if by doing so you’re destroying their entire religion.  It’s fucking stupid.  And these guys know it’s stupid to want a straight pride parade, but they think these shenanigans are helping to make some deeper point, when all it really does is reveal just what sad, insecure children they are.  Here’s how one of the organizers explains it:

“For them [gays] everything is based upon identity and whether or not one is categorized as a victim or an oppressor,” Sahady wrote on Facebook. “If you get victim status then you are entitled to celebrate yourself and expect those with oppressor status to defer to your feelings.”

Answer me this, asshole:  have you ever been teased or beaten up for being straight?  Been denied a job for being straight?  Fired from your job for being straight?  Kicked out of your parents’ house for being straight?  Ejected from your church for being straight?  Jailed in certain countries for being straight?  Denied marriage for being straight?  Denied adopting a child for being straight?  Tortured and executed for being straight?  Denied the right to visit your opposite-sex partner in the E.R.?  Been forced into conversion camps to cure your heterosexuality?  Committed suicide after years of being told you’re worthless for being straight?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

OK, look.  Pride parades were borne of a need to celebrate the right to live and exist without persecution.  So instead of pouting like a spoiled toddler for not having your own “straight pride” movement, maybe just be thankful that you don’t need one.