News from the American Hellscape: Blasphemy Burgers

Only in America will someone take a fantastic invention that could save the lives of millions of animals and turn it into a hysterical religious shitfest.

Christian TV Host: Meatless Burgers Are Satanic Plot To Create ‘Race Of Soulless Creatures’

“When you go to your favorite fast food restaurant, you are going to be eating a fake hamburger. You’re going to go to the grocery store and buy a pound of fake hamburger or a fake steak, and you won’t know that it was grown in some big corporation’s laboratory. This is the nightmare world that they are taking us into. They’re changing God’s creation. Why? Because they want to be God.”

Creating veggie burgers is “wanting to be God” and “changing God’s creation”?  Please tell me where I can find a meat burger that God created.  Following their logic, airplanes are also tools of Satan because God never meant for us to fly.

If you must look at this through a religious lens (sigh), aren’t they just taking the plants that God created and shaping them into a different form for our enjoyment?  Nah, that idea is too crazy.

This is just one of many unhinged things he’s said over the years.  I wonder what happened to this guy as a kid to transform him into the raving, drooling lunatic he is today.  For fuck’s sake, somebody get him into therapy before he hurts someone.  A mind that believes this kind of stuff is not a healthy one.

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This goes for any religion: if your faith is threatened by some satirical jabs on a T.V. show, maybe your faith isn’t as strong as you think.  This is fiction, something you should be familiar with.  Relax, snowflakes — your religion is still heavily dominant in this country, and it isn’t going to collapse under the influence of a satirical T.V. show.

Oh yeah, and if you’re going to protest a TV show, at least to take the time to figure out what channel/service it’s on so your protest goes to the right place.  Jesus.

Thousands of Christians Demand That Netflix Cancel a Show It Does Not Air

Some mistakes are simply too beautiful to have happened by accident—too comical to be explained by anything other than divine intervention. See, for instance, a recent petition from a Christian group calling on Netflix to cancel Good Omens,which the group considers “another step to make satanism appear normal, light and acceptable.” The problem, of course, is that Netflix does not air Good Omens; it’s an Amazon Prime series.

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So this company used to copy DVDs and Blu-Rays, then bleep out naughty words and snip out nudity and/or violence.  Then they’d stream the final version to people who are so fragile that exposure to such content would shatter their very reality.  Here’s how I envision these folks watching unfiltered shows:

“He said the F-word!  Nooooooo!”  [rends garments]

“I just saw a breast!  Gaaahhhhh!!”  [stabs eye out with fork]

Anyway, the company was busted for piracy and sued into the ground.  But somehow they stuck around, and then they started pirating and chopping up shows from streaming services, amazingly thinking they would be OK doing that.  Nope.

VidAngel Hit with $62.4 Million Judgment for Pirating Movies

VidAngel ripped movies from DVD copies, and then streamed them to users with offensive content filtered out. The company argued this was allowed under the federal Family Movie Act, but Birotte did not agree and ordered the service to shut down in December 2016. The company later relaunched a filtering service for Netflix and Amazon, which continues to operate.

How could they possibly think that breaking copyright protection and sharing the content was in any way legal?  I remember a similar service many years ago that would do this to movies on videotape — they’d bleep and snip away all the bad (good) stuff, then copy them to new tapes and rent them to the aforementioned fragile types.  It didn’t work out then, and it ain’t working out now.

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She fed him bleach to treat his autism.  BLEACH.  The same stuff we use to clean clothing, scrub toilets and tubs, and all that good stuff.  And because she saw a video about its “health benefits” on YouTube, it’s obviously a miracle cure.  What could go wrong?

Police Let Mom Keep Feeding Son Bleach After She Showed Them YouTube Videos, Doctor Approval

Search YouTube for “Miracle Mineral Solution” or “MMS” and you will find a trove of videos about how consuming bleach will treat various illnesses—acne, flu, malaria, HIV, hepatitis, cancer, and autism.

Why are people so willing to believe such obvious nonsense?  We’ve all been asking that question a lot these past few years.

News from the American Hellscape: Pride & Prickishness

Such petty bullshit coming from our government. But should we expect any better at this point?

Trump Administration Denies U.S. Embassies Permission To Fly Pride Flag

U.S. embassies in Germany, Israel, Brazil and Latvia requested permission from the State Department to fly the rainbow flag on their flagpoles and were denied, NBC News reported Friday, citing three unidentified American diplomats.

But wait! Some embassies are essentially telling Trump to shove his anti-gay flag policy right up his gnarled old cornhole. Some are flying giant rainbow flags anyway, and others are putting up rainbow lights, etc. Awesome.

Some U.S. embassies still hoisting rainbow flags, despite advisory from Washington

Since the State Department began rejecting all embassy requests to hoist rainbow flags outside the mission buildings during LGBTQ Pride Month this year, some U.S. diplomats have been finding ways to defy, or at least get around, the new policy.  Although most embassies seem to be toeing the line, the policy shift appears to have sparked something of a revolt among diplomats.

This is probably my favorite one, however:

Some embassies that have flown the flag in previous years opted this year to commemorate the month by posting on their websites President Trump’s statement affirming LGBT rights and inviting nations to join a global campaign to decriminalize homosexuality.

California’s Governor even called Trump’s bullshit:

CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR DEFIES TRUMP, FLIES RAINBOW FLAG OVER STATE CAPITOL DURING PRIDE MONTH

California Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered that for the remainder of Pride month the rainbow flag will fly above the state’s capitol building, directly flouting White House policy.  The rainbow flag was raised over the California capitol building, flying alongside the Stars and Stripes and the California state flag.

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Such compassion! Such Christlike behavior!

Tennessee Deputy, Pastor Calls For Execution Of LGBTQ People

A Tennessee deputy and pastor is being investigated by the District Attorney’s office after he gave a sermon calling for the government to round up and execute members of the LGBTQ community.

“Send the police in 2019 out to these LGBT freaks and arrest them,” Fritts continued. “Have a trial for them, and if they are convicted then they are to be put to death. Do you understand that? It’s a capital crime to be carried out by our government.”

Charming. You know, if Jesus came back today he’d slap the living shit out of this piece of trash. He did say something that made me laugh, though:

“I’m sick of sodomy getting crammed down our throats,” Fritts said during his sermon.

Um… If anyone was cramming sodomy somewhere, it probably wouldn’t be down your throat. You know?

Oh, he knows. It’s common knowledge these days that anyone this homophobic is hiding some seriously queer skeletons in his closet. It’s something we’ve seen a thousand times from a thousand vehemently anti-gay types, all of them crowing about the evils of homosexuality and how it’s “infecting” our country with…whatever. I think we should start taking bets on how many wangs this guy has had in his various orifices over his lifetime. 50? 200? Always done in strict secrecy, probably using church funds to keep the dudes quiet. You know it’s true! It’s only a matter of time before the story breaks, and I can’t wait…

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Wow.  This gay guy is the social media manager for the NRA.  He’s got some questions (and a bit of whining) for his fellow gayfolk.  Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?

I wish the gay community were more accepting of gun supporters. I should know.

If we in the gay community know we are frequent targets, why do we overwhelmingly oppose laws that protect our right to defend ourselves?

Typical NRA thinking: the only way you can be safe is carrying a gun around everywhere.  “Hey, let’s head out to the club!  Just let me grab my pistol.”  What kind of life is that?  And how is it safer if average citizens start walking around with automatic weapons?  What a sad, paranoid way to live your life.

Why do I find myself, at party after party, defending my decision to work for the NRA?

Well, let’s see.  How about…because you work for a corrupt and dangerous organization that glorifies weapons which can kill dozens of people in just a couple of minutes.  You know, like at the Pulse nightclub and dozens of other public places.  Do you really need more reasons?  There are quite a few more.

Why does my wanting to own a firearm make some gay people I meet accuse me of being self-hating?

Hmmm.  I’ll bet you’re a Republican too, because you’d pretty much have to be.  So maybe they think you’re self-hating because you’re aligning yourself with people who actively work to suppress and dehumanize gay people like yourself.  Ugh…gay Republicans are already insufferable, and adding gun-worship to the mix is especially gross.

Why is a community that prides itself on inclusion and tolerance so intolerant toward the Second Amendment, the NRA and those who believe in the right to self-defense?

To quote one of the comments on this article:  “It’s not that the gay community ‘is so hostile toward the Second Amendment’, it’s that we’re hostile towards the NRA because (I’ll stick to the facts and refrain from chanting obscenities) they’re divisive fraudulent money grubbing Trump supporting homophobic liars. They don’t exclusively OWN the second amendment and define what it means.”

This is exactly right.  The NRA is a shitty organization which has abused the Second Amendment for decades.  So fuck off with your self-pity — if you want to be liked, make yourself likeable.

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I’m happy to see this artist finally see a little bit of compensation for the abuse he and his art have taken at the hands of Nazi wannabes. Of course they’ll still use Pepe to their own stupid ends, but Alex Jones can’t even touch Pepe again. (Stay tuned for the follow-up story where he violates the agreement and does it anyway…)

InfoWars Must Pay Pepe the Frog Creator $15,000, Never Sell Pepe Merch Again in Settlement

InfoWars founder, conspiracy theorist, and tainted supplement pitchman Alex Jones has settled with artist Matt Furie, creator of the unfathomably widespread Pepe the Frog meme, for $15,000 after InfoWars used the image on an obnoxious poster it sold during the 2016 elections, Vice reported on Monday.

“Straight pride” and the hilariously pathetic self-victimization of conservative snowflakes

Ya gotta love it when straight bigots try to play the victim card.  It’s so cute how righteously indignant they are.  They actually think that by granting some people rights that have long been denied, it somehow diminishes the rights of everyone who already has them.  Especially straight white people — somehow they’re the most offended by anything like that, as if they haven’t had all the goddamn rights in the world for centuries.  These people must be staggeringly bored.

These ones in particular think they’re doing something suuuuper clever and counterculture: a “straight pride” parade.  Oh, that’ll give those gay queer faggots something to think about!  Well, something to laugh about is more like it…

It’s LGBT pride month, but three guys in Boston want a permit for a ‘Straight Pride’ parade

Pride Month kicks off in Boston on Tuesday with a lights event, a paint night — and preparations for a possible “Straight Pride Parade” this summer.  The event to celebrate heterosexuality in one of the nation’s most gay-friendly cities is meant to poke fun at the “identity politics” of the political left, organizer Mark Sahady wrote in a Facebook comment.

These are the same fuckwits who think there should be a “white pride month” because, you know, white people don’t get any attention these days and they’re sooooo persecuted and stuff.  Or those other fuckwits who get mortally upset when someone says “Happy Holidays!”, as if by doing so you’re destroying their entire religion.  It’s fucking stupid.  And these guys know it’s stupid to want a straight pride parade, but they think these shenanigans are helping to make some deeper point, when all it really does is reveal just what sad, insecure children they are.  Here’s how one of the organizers explains it:

“For them [gays] everything is based upon identity and whether or not one is categorized as a victim or an oppressor,” Sahady wrote on Facebook. “If you get victim status then you are entitled to celebrate yourself and expect those with oppressor status to defer to your feelings.”

Answer me this, asshole:  have you ever been teased or beaten up for being straight?  Been denied a job for being straight?  Fired from your job for being straight?  Kicked out of your parents’ house for being straight?  Ejected from your church for being straight?  Jailed in certain countries for being straight?  Denied marriage for being straight?  Denied adopting a child for being straight?  Tortured and executed for being straight?  Denied the right to visit your opposite-sex partner in the E.R.?  Been forced into conversion camps to cure your heterosexuality?  Committed suicide after years of being told you’re worthless for being straight?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

OK, look.  Pride parades were borne of a need to celebrate the right to live and exist without persecution.  So instead of pouting like a spoiled toddler for not having your own “straight pride” movement, maybe just be thankful that you don’t need one.

News from the American Hellscape: Measles Mambo

Once again Russia succeeds in tearing the country into two camps, when there really should be only one.  You know, the one where science wins over conspiratorial peepeecaca.  Critical thinking is basically dead in America since social media came along — we read shit on Twitter and instantly believe and spread it as fact, which is exactly how we ended up with a fascist orange twatwaffle as president.  And now we have the highest number of measles infections in decades.  Where does this end?

Russian trolls spurred anti-vaccine debate with misinformation on Twitter, says new study

“Compared with average users, Russian trolls, sophisticated bots, and ‘content polluters’ tweeted about vaccination at higher rates,” the study, led by professor David Broniatowski, reports in its findings. “Whereas content polluters posted more anti-vaccine content, Russian trolls amplified both sides.”

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And looky here, who would have guessed?  I see they lumped blogs in with social media, which I don’t agree with.  You have to seek out and subscribe to blogs, but social media is in your face all the time with few controls on what you see, and it makes spreading misinformation easier and faster than anyone ever imagined (other than Putin, who seems to have perfected the craft).  Having said that, I have seen some blogs that eroded my brain a bit. 🙂

Twitter is eroding your intelligence: Study

Using Twitter reduced performance on the test by about 25 to 40 per cent of a standard deviation from the average result, as the paper explains.  Jeff Hancock, the founding director of the Stanford Social Media Lab, described these as “pretty big effects”.  …This finding, the paper notes, bolsters the conclusion that blogs and social networking sites actively impair performance, rather than simply failing to augment learning.

A spokesman for Twitter declined to comment on the study.

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Oh, this splotch-faced douchenozzle again?  He’s been busy spreading his fetid, racist stank all over Europe, trying to recruit more Aryan mongoloids to fight in his war against brown people, or whatever it is.  Too bad he can’t be bothered to do the appropriate paperwork…

Italy blocks Bannon’s plans for right-wing political academy

Italy’s populist government is blocking plans by former White House adviser Steve Bannon to set up an academy for future populist leaders in a medieval monastery in the mountains outside of Rome.  On Friday, Italy’s government said it was revoking the rights to the property, which were given to the Dignitatis Humanae Institute, a think-tank affiliated with Bannon.  Among other problems, Italy’s culture ministry said the institute has not paid concession fees and failed to do maintenance work on the monastery.

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This is epic.  If you’re looking for a bite-sized summary of Trump’s red flags and possible/likely crimes, this is it.

Ex-Ethics Chief Tweets Very Long List Of Bad Signs From Donald Trump’s Presidency

The former head of the U.S. Office of Government Ethics urged the American public on Friday to pay careful attention to everything that’s going on with President Donald Trump’s administration.

“Heed the signs and don’t underestimate the threat to our republic from within,” tweeted Walter Shaub, who served in the high-ranking role under former President Barack Obama and then for six months under Trump until his resignation in July 2017.

Here’s a snack-sized copy of the entire Tweet thread for your convenience:

Heed the signs and don’t underestimate the threat to our republic from within:

• Trump obstructed justice
• A McConnell-packed SCOTUS says precedent can be changed more easily than previously thought
• AG Barr is an open partisan and slow-motion Saturday Night Massacre beneficiary
• White House ignores congressional subpoenas, document requests
• Mnuchin is violating a law on turning over taxes to House
• Barr & Senate allies want to investigate officials who investigated Trump to retaliate against them and deter future efforts to hold him to the rule of law-State Dept is setting up a commission to supplant human rights with “natural law”
• An Inspector General found standing room only in border detention cells, with detainees standing on toilets to breathe
• children stolen from parents at the border are dying in internment camps-Trump cut resources for investigating domestic terrorists
• FBI reports a recent significant rise in white supremacist domestic terrorism
• evidence found of a white supremacist plot to add census Q to help gerrymander in ways “advantageous to Republicans and non-Hispanic whites”-Trump is still resisting setting up defenses against foreign election interference
• Trump’s personal attorney solicited foreign govt investigation of current Trump political rival Biden
• AG Barr said something in a weird interview about investigating former Trump rival Clinton
• There’s cause for concern Trump/Kushner personal interests may be influencing middle east policy
• Ignoring Congress, Trump declared fake emergency & abused authority to sell weapons to Saudi Arabia to continue its atrocities in Yemen, after it murdered a Washington Post reporter
• Trump declared fake emergency to get more power to ramp up activity at border
• ethics violations (and ethically dubious conduct not rising to a violation) occurring at an unprecedented rate among Trump appointees
• senior admin official says she doesn’t care about an ethics law
• if impeached, Trump says he’ll try to get SCOTUS to overturn the impeachment
• McConnell, who blocked Merrick Garland ostensibly because it was an election year, shamelessly hinted this week that he’d be willing to fill a SCOTUS position for
• Trump in an election year
• Trump is praising autocrats, undermining allies
• Tone of OLC’s recent opinions has changed under Assistant AG Steven Engel, who was tied to one of the torture memos
• Military went to the border for Trump
• Military hid a ship to placate Trump
• Airborne seen wearing MAGA patches
• Trump admin & Graham inexplicably advocating war in Iran/Venezuela
• DOJ experimenting with new legal theory for prosecuting those who publish classified information (raising a question as to whether the theory will be limited to hostile foreign actors or expanded to journalists)
• some public voices are normalizing Trump admin conduct
• voicemail from Trump lawyer to Flynn shows a disturbing carrot/stick approach (or worse)
• Trump has seemed to dangle pardons to buy silence or worse
• Trump admin officials are violating records laws to conceal actions
• Trump said “Russia, if you’re listening”
• Trump said “fine people” marched with nazis
• Trump has told over 10,000 false or misleading statements, per Washington Post
• Trump helped cover up Khashoggi murder, and Kushner’s said to have offered advice to MBS on weathering the storm
• a foreign prince is reported to have said he has Kushner in his pocket (but denies saying that)
• Helsinki
• Trump’s behavior is erratic and is marked by frequent lies, bizarre public outbursts, name-calling and confusion
• no press conferences, and no transparency
• Trump allies in congress are either lying about the Mueller report or haven’t read it
• Trump allies in congress are trying to prevent Mueller & others from testifying because they know their base hasn’t read the report and right wing media has kept them from hearing about it

But no, that’s all just Mainstream Media™ lies….

News from the American Hellscape: Chick-fuk-U

Oh, really?  Chick-fil-A actually has a “vice president of corporate social responsibility”?  Wow, they’re so benevolent and caring!  And so typical:  he spews fluffy religious statements about helping the children, following a higher calling, etc. but he’s anti-gay and anti-choice.  Well, who has fewer abortions than gay people??  Another so-called Christian funding oppressive, hateful legislation against people his holy book says aren’t worthy.  Way to think for yourself, dude.

Chick-fil-A Executive Calls Supporting Anti-LGBTQ Organizations A ‘Higher Calling’

“The calling for us is to ensure that we are relevant and impactful in the community, and that we’re helping children and that we’re helping them to be everything that they can be,” said Bullard, the company’s vice president of corporate social responsibility and the executive director of the company’s charitable foundation. “For us, that’s a much higher calling than any political or cultural war that’s being waged. This is really about an authentic problem that is on the ground, that is present and ever present in the lives of many children who can’t help themselves.”

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If only the rains had swept this monstrosity out to sea, with Ken Ham at the helm.  They could have taken two of each right-wing species with them:  two racists, two homophobes, two religious zealots, two anti-vaxxers, two conspiracy nutjobs, two corrupt bank executives, two anti-choice activists…  They could populate an island of their very own and call it Conservatopia.

Ark Encounter lawsuit: replica Noah’s ark park sues insurance companies

Genesis, this is not. This is the fate of the multimillion-dollar Noah’s Ark replica and theme park in Northern Kentucky, Ark Encounter, which is suing insurance carriers over coverage for rain-related damages to the property.

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Fucking hell.  Will these gun fetishists stop at nothing?  They think they’re doing some sort of noble work, fighting “the man” and promoting the Second Amendment and blah blah blah.  But I just look at it as 3D-printing new dicks.  These guys (and they’re 99.9% guys) obviously suffer from some sort of inferior manhood complex, because they’re constantly looking for more ways to create/buy/own more and larger metal dicks that have no purpose other than killing people.  Such a noble pursuit!

3D-Printed Guns Are Back, and This Time They Are Unstoppable

A new network of 3D-printed gun advocates is growing in America — and this time things are different. Unlike previous attempts to popularize 3D-printed guns, this operation is entirely decentralized. There’s no headquarters, no trademarks, and no real leader. The people behind it reckon that this means they can’t be stopped by governments. Known only by his online moniker, Ivan the Troll is the de facto spokesman of an underground wave of 3D-printing gunsmiths. Ivan says he knows of at least 100 people who are actively developing 3D-printed gun technology, and he claims there are thousands taking part in the network. This loose-knit community spans across the whole world.

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Our so-called President is a goddamn toddler trapped in the body of a dementia-addled baboon with stupid hair.  It doesn’t surprise me in the least that he can’t read or write simple words.  The man has the intellect of a doorknob, as his words and actions prove again and again.  Dumber than a box of hair.  You get the idea.

Photographer captures images of Trump’s handwritten notes, shows he cannot spell basic words

A selection of photos captured by press photographers showed a couple of folded pages in Trump’s hand—a single page of typed speech, with Trump’s ALL_CAPS handwritten notes marked underneath. Trump wrote:

Nancy Pelosi just stated “We believe that the president of the U.S. is engaged in a coverup.”

MOST TRANSPARENT.

They want to impeach over acts that they did.

Dems have no achomlishments.I’m going to keep working for the American people.

Intentially had a meeting before

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This comic sounds intriguing.  Naturally they were attacked from the outset and had to shop it around, because publishers are terrified of Christian snowflakes with persecution complexes.  “This comic threatens to bring the entire Christian world to its very knees!”  Don’t they say that about everything controversial, though?  Movies, books, music — if they don’t like it, it’s a mortal threat to their very existence.  Is their faith that weak?  Like I said:  snowflakes.

How a cancelled comic about Jesus and superheroes found its resurrection

The God of “Second Coming” is an irascible sort, frustrated with and unsympathetic to humanity, while its Christ thinks he can do better with a little kindness and some persuasive ideas. But around 2000 years after his “disastrous” crucifixion, Jesus finally gets permission to visit Earth again, and learn a few tips about saving humanity from his dad’s newest favorite son: A superhero called Sun-Man. Once there, he discovers just how far even those who follow his teachings have strayed from his message.

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You just know that Trump would execute anyone who crosses him if he could get away with it.  He would absolutely do it.  He’d make it a T.V. spectacle, and Fox News would host it with ads from the NRA and Focus On The Family.  That’s the kind of world we live in, now.

North Korea Reportedly Executes Officials For Failed Trump-Kim Summit

Kim Hyok Chol, the chief negotiator who led the working-level negotiations with the U.S., was executed in March alongside several other officials in punishment for the outcome of the event, the newspaper reported. Trump and Kim met in Hanoi, Vietnam, for their second official summit to discuss Pyongyang’s nuclear program, but the talks abruptly collapsed after the pair failed to come to a deal.

News from the American Hellscape: The Whining Wall

Time for another round.

This, folks, is a thing of beauty. Even today, after Trump’s many broken promises, there are gullible nitwits out there who still think someone’s going to build a wall to keep those dirty, violent brown people out, and they’re willing to donate millions to make it happen (even though Trump personally guaranteed them that the dirty, violent brown people were going to pay for it). So they donated to a crowdfunding campaign to build a wall on their own, and…nothing’s happening. $20 million just went *poof*. It’s hilarious! I hope this happens again and again and again, because they truly do not learn.

UPDATE 5/28/19: Well, what do you know? Today there’s news that they finally built a little bit of wall with this money over the weekend. Not Mexico’s money, but American money. Almost one mile was done, with only 1200+ miles to go, so pony up, MAGAts!

Trump supporters astonished to learn that the man they gave $20m to “build the wall” has nothing to show for it

In response, a fellow promised that he would raise the money for the wall through a crowdfunding campaign that the credulous dunces could send money to. He estimated that he could build it on private land for a mere $1b, because why not. They raised more than $20m, less than one thousandth of the DHS estimate of the cost of doing so, and, with less than 1% of the total cost in hand, the crowdfunder was shut down.

Now, the credulous dunces would like to know the what Brian Kolfage, the fellow who started the campaign, is doing with their millions. Mr Kolfage created a nonprofit to receive the money, but its records are sparse and mysterious. Mr Kolfage became very upset when the Daily Beast’s Will Sommer published an article pointing out that no evidence of progress has been made available, and Mr Sommer countered that he had repeatedly asked Mr Kolfage for a status update, to no avail.

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This should send shivers down the spine of everyone, even these Christians who think they’re doing their god’s work. If they’re going to teach “Bible Literacy”, we need to throw in a class on Buddhism Literacy to balance it out. And Islam Literacy. And Hinduism Literacy. And Pagan Literacy. And whatever else we can come up with. Hey, why not Satanism Literacy? It’s related to Christianity, after all, so why not be thorough? This business of sneaking religion into public schools has backfired before — remember when the Satanic Church began distributing pamphlets in schools which were handing out pamphlets about Jesus? Yeah, they didn’t like that at all. But if you really believe the Constitution is a sacred document, you must consider all of it. You can’t just pick and choose what to accept, like you do with that Bible of yours.

Bible classes in public schools are getting a big push from Christian conservatives — and it’s working

Scenes of Bible classes in public school could become increasingly common across the United States if other states follow Kentucky’s lead in passing legislation that encourages high schools to teach the Bible. Activists on the religious right, through their legislative effort Project Blitz, drafted a law that encourages Bible classes in public schools and persuaded at least 10 state legislatures to introduce versions of it this year. Georgia and Arkansas recently passed bills that are awaiting their governors’ signatures.

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It basically comes down to this: Trump has made it OK to ignore laws. It’s that simple. Church and state? Who cares! Conflicts of interest? Whatever, not me! The actual law says the IRS must provide tax returns? Nope, we refuse! These people are pissing all over the American rule of law, and so far nothing is stopping them because Trump has strategically installed corrupt garbage-people in positions where they can obstruct any attempt to hold him accountable. (Oh yeah, let’s not forget the House & Senate Republicans who will jump up and lick his arse at every opportunity.) Just imagine if Obama had tried even a tiny fraction of what the Orange Tumor has. Republicans would have burned him alive, and I mean that quite literally.

Well, well, well. I guess he’s just following in the scammy footsteps of his hero Papa Trump. Should we expect differently? When you worship a conman shitbag, you’ll likely become one. No mystery there.

He Founded ‘Students for Trump.’ Now He Could Face Jail Time for Impersonating a Lawyer.

“I see Donald Trump as reviving the Republican Party,” one of them, John Lambert, declared confidently. Last month, Lambert, now 23, showed up in the news again. This time, he had been arrested in Tennessee on charges of wire fraud. According to the federal government, at the same time he was building a nationwide political network and serving as one of the most visible young faces of Trump’s populist movement, Lambert was also posing online as a high-powered New York lawyer, eventually making off with tens of thousands of dollars in fees he stole from unwitting clients seeking legal services.

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Oh pleasepleaseplease let this be true. I want to see the NRA collapse under the weight of its own gun-humping hubris. It looks like even all those millions of dollars funneled into the NRA by Russian operatives aren’t going to keep them afloat, which really says something about the level of corruption we’re talking about here. Finally we have a bit of good news after two years of suffering under the most corrupt administration in history. I’m still rooting for this administration to collapse in the same way, but it’s sure taking its sweet time…

Leaked NRA Documents Reveal Gun Group Drowning In Legal Fees
A week before former National Rifle Association President Oliver North said he would not seek reelection after a failed attempt to oust CEO Wayne LaPierre, he warned the group that extraordinary legal fees threaten the future of the NRA.
A series of documents posted anonymously online and verified by both The Daily Beast and The Wall Street Journal show the inner machinations of a group plagued by deep financial troubles to the tune of $24 million.

Religious conservative “morals” are anything but

Here we have two stories that perfectly sum up the fucked-up values of America’s religious conservatives.  Let’s start with this:

Republicans Are Pissed About Crackdowns on Vaccine Exemptions

The fight against measles in a handful of states is facing staunch opposition from Republicans and anti-vaxx parents as lawmakers crack down on exemptions that let kids skip vaccinations.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that through Friday there have been 839 individual cases of measles throughout 23 states. That’s the most cases since 1994, making this the worst measles outbreak in decades. In response, a number of states where it’s spread have been trying to limit exemptions, with efforts mostly led by Democrats.

Washington State got rid of personal/philosophical exemptions.  California is making it harder to claim false exemptions.  Oregon got rid of the “moral” exemption.  Connecticut is looking at removing religious exemptions.  Maine has tossed philosophical exemptions.  Slowly but surely, reason and common sense are making headway against tidal waves of anti-vaxxer bullshit, and naturally Republicans are howling like the infantile little assholes we all know they are.  Oh, you don’t want the government dictating your health choices in the face of a nationwide epidemic?  Let’s come back to that when you stop taking womens’ uteruses  hostage because you think a blob is a person.  And speaking of which…

Alabama Governor Signs Abortion Ban Into Law

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey signed a controversial bill that bans nearly all abortions into law Wednesday evening.  It’s considered the most restrictive abortion law in the United States. The law makes it a crime for doctors to perform abortions at any stage of a pregnancy, unless a woman’s life is threatened or there is a lethal fetal anomaly.

This is the “pro-life” world we now live in, folks:  religious conservatives (overwhelmingly men, naturally) forcing women to give birth to unwanted children, while at the same time fighting legislation that prevents those same children from getting sick…and possibly dying.  They’d also like to let anyone of any mental state purchase automatic weapons, because without all those dead schoolkids they wouldn’t be able to look and feel compassionate by publicly spouting their Thoughts And Prayers™ on Twitter.  And let’s not forget that they overwhelmingly support the death penalty.  Yep, sounds “pro-life” to me all right.

But wait, we shouldn’t stop there.  We can take this so much further.  First we need steep fines on non-procreative ejaculations.  Outlaw jerking off — it’s causing trillions of innocent pre-babies to die in a holocaust of towels and tissues!  Next we need to outlaw the burning of coal and oil, because carbon is one of the building blocks of life (if you believe in that science stuff, anyway).  And what about those poor fetuses and blobs which have now been granted full personhood?  First we need to give them voting rights.  They’ll also have property rights with the ability to rent out space in the womb.  Make them attend church, because Jesus died for our blobs’ sins.  And let them be the second passenger in the carpool lane, fer chrissakes!  That blob is a person, you monster!

But enough of that.  To paraphrase Saint Carlin, these people don’t give a shit about you once you’re born.  Once you’re out of the womb, you’re on your own.  They’ll use their power to bring you into the world, but they don’t want a single government dollar going to help feed and care for you if your mother can’t do it all on her own.  They just want you born, and then you’re not their problem.  This is how they keep women in their place, as the Bible clearly dictates.  Praise be!

This all leads me to believe that the mind of an American religious conservative can be a dark and twisted maze of contradictions and misguided piety.  Selfish, irrational, willfully ignorant and dismissive of established knowledge, compromised by their belief of a guaranteed spot in Heaven, wielding religion as a weapon against those they don’t like, driven to control the behavior of others under the guise of “moral concern” — it’s a scary place, and minds like this have been very busy chipping away at whatever legal protections we still have against their influence.  Now that Trump is in power and appointing hundreds of right-wing judges into lifetime positions, I’m starting think these motherfuckers just might get their wish of a real-world “Handmaid’s Tale.”

I’m fully aware that conservatives automatically call this attitude intolerant.  “Typical intolerant libtard! Can’t stand different opinions.  Fuckin snowflake.”  But you know what?  Nobody should tolerate the kinds of immoral and inhumane things these people are getting away with.  So if I’m an intolerant asshole to them (and I’ve been told as much by a few), I’m fine with that.

Under His Eye…