I absolutely cannot believe this: some T.V. network marketing nitwits want to erect a giant statue of Samantha Stephens from the show “Bewitched”…in Salem, Massachusetts. That’s right, a T.V. witch in a town with a history of burning witches.
But now some in Salem are upset over plans by the TV Land cable network to honor the late Montgomery with a 9-foot bronze statue in a city infamous for its 17th century persecution of people feared to be witches. The statue would depict Montgomery sitting sidesaddle on a broom. It would stand in a downtown park at the corner of Essex and Washington streets.
”It’s insensitive to what happened in 1692,” said Jean Harrison, one of several Salem residents opposing the plan. ”She was a fictional witch, but the people who died were not witches.”
Mayor Stanley J. Usovicz Jr. said the statue will bring a bit of whimsy to town and maybe a boost to Salem’s seasonal tourist trade. He said the city insisted that the statue be placed away from sites associated with the witch trials, such as a park dedicated to the memory of the 19 accused witches hanged on Gallows Hill in 1692.
”I see this as something like the Red Auerbach statue in Boston,” he said of the bronze figure of the former Celtics coach on a bench at Quincy Market. ”It’s a place where people will stop, get their picture taken, and have a little bit of fun while they’re visiting Salem.”
Imagine the meeting where this was decided. “Ya know what would be cool? Listen to this…we go to Salem, OK? OK. We go to Salem. And what do we put there? OK, are you ready for this? OK. We put up a statue of Samantha. You know, the witch from the show! Yeah! Wouldn’t that be awesome? Fuckin-A! Would be huge publicity for the network. Movie’s coming out in a few months too. Yeah! Let’s do it!! What’s for lunch?”
After reading this, I think it may be time to start burning people at the stake again.