Hollywood is about to squat down and drop another nutlog of Grade-A cinematic feces all over the face of America with its upcoming “Alvin & the Chipmunks” movie. Sure to be a masterpiece of puke-inducement, it’s coming our way just in time to ruin Christmas and make Baby Jesus cry.
Look at those goddamn rodents. They’ve been made into gangsta rappers! What is that? I give less than a shit about The Chipmunks a TV/musical institution, but whatever marketing douchebag decided to ghetto them up (like they did with Loony Tunes in the 90’s) needs a good boot to the head. We’ll surely be seeing these idiotic posters spread all over EVERYTHING in the coming months like some kind of theatrical Dirty Sanchez. The soundtrack will also be marketed like crazy, with those squeaky little chipmunk voices yellin’ and hollarin’ and rappin’ till we all want to hang ourselves. God, sometimes I just can’t believe the shit that comes out of our movie industry. It’s downright insulting.
One of you industry people needs to find and burn the masters of this abomination before it spreads. Won’t you please think of the children!!