The other day I was reading a news story on CNN.com and noticed a headline in the sidebar and gasped. It said, “Couple welcomes 17th child — and wants more“. No. Fucking. Way. When I saw “Arkansas” and “17th child” in the same sentence, I suddenly knew who the story was about. Meet the Duggar family (a.k.a. The Arkansas Baby Factory™), which has been pumping out a child every nine months for almost two decades, and there’s no end in sight. Their 17th unit just rolled out, and like all the ones produced before it, its name begins with the letter “J”. 17 kids, all with the same first initial. Isn’t that so cute you want to puke your fucking guts out? God, this family irritates me without even trying!
I first blogged about them in 2004 (last paragraph) and again in 2005, and it’s not any less astonishing today. (Perhaps it’s a new tradition?) It’s just so sad… So many kids need adoption, but no…Mrs. Broodmare feels compelled to keep filling her house with more J-spawn. Meanwhile, the
sperm donor father (unsurprisingly named Jim Bob) arrogantly keeps her knocked up so she can’t have a life outside of the house. Does she even go into labor these days, or does the baby just plop out wherever she happens to be standing? Maybe she ought to look into cloning so she can replicate a dozen babies at once. Why stop at one?
Another thing that struck me about all this: since they consider each child a “blessing from God” rather than the product of their incessant rutting, they are sure to be fiercely anti-abortion. Yet they refuse to save any children from that fate because they’re too busy dropping more cracker offspring into this increasingly shitty world. Yeah, some blessing. Welcome to Earth, little J-whatever. Here’s your number…please step aside and make room for the next.