What do you do when you can’t keep students from touching each other in the hallways? One school in particular appears to have a big hugging problem. The students just keep hugging each other, almost as if — gasp! — they’re glad to see each other. The horrors! Why, we can’t properly alienate them from each other if they keep up these disgusting displays of friendly, nonsexual affection! They oughta be sending text messages and posting notes on Myspace, not interacting in person!
Well, the Principal has a solution: she’s decided to ban hugging altogether. She says it “creates bottlenecks” in hallways and makes people late for class. Uh-huh. She also said something which is far more telling: “Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls.” Whoah. Is it me, or does this woman seem to be projecting some deep personal issues onto the entire school? Lady, don’t ban student hugging just because nobody ever hugged you outside of a special occasion. Hugging is a good thing, and for students who know they’ll soon be graduating into a fucked-up world, it probably helps.