Have you ever known people who always tell you stories about in-your-face things they did or said, stories that show what a cutting, quick wit they have…but you don’t really believe them because the stories sound too consistently perfect? You figure that something happened, but the really good stuff was likely made up a couple of days after the fact to make it sound more entertaining. I know a couple of people who do this — they’ll tell me all about how they told someone off or put some asshole in his place, then later on (right in front of me) they’ll tell a variant of the same story to someone else but with a more outrageous, self-aggrandizing ending. I’ve learned to wake up and smell the bullshit, and now everything they say to me is taken with a grain of salt.
This morning, after reading the latest on the Violent Acres blog, I realized I’ve come to feel this way about the person who writes it. On one hand, she usually has some great observations on our wasteland culture, which are sharply-written and pretty much sum up how I feel about a lot of things. The recent post about her visit to Super Wal-Mart, for example, has some good zingers:
As unbelievable as this may sound, I have never been in a Super! Walmart, so I had no idea what to expect. Would a door greeter give me a complimentary cup to spit tobacco juice in as soon as I entered the store? Along with lazy pregnant women and handicapped people, would fat asses get special parking privileges as close to the door as humanly possible? Would there be a mechanical bull somewhere? Perhaps next to an isle consisting solely of boxed wine and ‘Get R Done’ T-shirts?
On the other hand, I’ve been reading her stuff for a while and lately I’ve decided that while her bitchy opinions are usually entertaining, a lot of the stories she tells about her outrageous shenanigans are likely bullshit. She’s written a lot of great posts about dealing with stupid people and situations, and her views on “mommybloggers” and people who let their children run rampant are priceless…but some of her “personal stories” just seem too perfect. Sorry, Vi, I don’t buy it!