Though it will likely go down in history as a show that peaked during its opening credits, it’s important to remember that there was a time, a thousand human lifetimes ago, when the series was almost as good as its opening credits or, at least, not an outright insult to them.There was a time when the dialogue was peppered with ridiculous, quotable lines (“Who ordered the hamburger…with AIDS?“) instead of being entirely constructed of “quotable” lines, like a sprawling McMansion where every wall is an accent wall; when the characters were accidentally campy (or, best of all, Anna Camp-y) instead of hollowly, painstakingly, calculatedly campy; when gratuitously weird scenes about a minor character sending a text would be thrown in—and allowed to last a beat too long—for no reason other than we’re all friends here and, fuck it, we’ve got time to kill.
“True Blood” to be staked
I knew this was coming. This last season was so very, very bad that this will be a mercy killing… Here’s how to sum up just about every episode this season: “Hey, there’s a lot of serious crap happening! So much violence and fear! C’mon, pull down yer pants and let’s do it!” I’m no prude, but I know shitty writing when I see it.