Brynne Larson and Tess and Savannah Scherkenback are all-American girls from Arizona, who enjoy martial arts and horse riding. But something sets them apart from most teenagers – they perform public exorcisms and often appear on TV chat shows.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time, and that’s really saying something. There’s just such a rich vein of bullshit here, it’s hard to know exactly where to begin digging. Here, let me share some of the juiciest bits of this pure, undiluted idiocy:
”The spells and things that you’re reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren’t just something that are made up, those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books.”
So if you point a stick at something and say “Wingardium Leviosa”, IT WILL FLY! Seriously, those are REAL SPELLS in those books!
The young women have been trained by Brynne’s father, the Reverend Bob Larson, who says he has performed more than 15,000 exorcisms.
Yes, snake oil is a very lucrative business, especially when you cater exclusively to the gullible and outright stupid.
Honestly, I’ve never tried to do any showmanship at all, I’m just demonstrating the power of God. We’re not doing it to play up to the cameras. I’ve seen some amazing things in private with nobody there.
Oh of course it’s not just theater, don’t be silly! Three black-belt ninja sisters who kick demon ass in a traveling show? Who wouldn’t take that seriously?
Tess, Savannah and Brynne have all been home-schooled. In Brynne’s case it was because her father’s profession led the family to travel widely. ‘With going [to] over 20 countries and stuff, I don’t really have time to go to school, but I’ll just sit at my desk and work on calculus or read all my books,’ she says. ‘This is so much better than going to a stinky old school room.’
Yeah, she like totally digs calculus ‘n’ stuff while she kicks demon booty ‘n’ talks to God ‘n’ stuff. Yah, like totally ‘n’ junk.
I keep hoping that this ends up being a satirical comedy troupe, but sadly I think it’s real. Another wonderful American export.