Authorities are investigating after $600,000 in checks and cash was stolen from a safe at Pastor Joel Osteen’s Houston megachurch, which has one of the largest congregations in the country.
Police spokesman Kese Smith said Tuesday $200,000 in cash and $400,000 in checks were stolen from a safe sometime between 2:30 p.m. Sunday and 8:30 a.m. Monday.
Bahahahahaha! Ohhhhh, OMG. Wow. Please pardon my big, hearty guffaw, which was followed by a loud snort. Whew… Oh man. That’s some funny stuff right there. Especially when you think about all the people that money wasn’t helping by sitting there in the safe. And you just know this guy rolls around naked in it after Sunday services. All in the name of God, naturally. Now that cash won’t help anyone at all, even if it was ever meant to — except the guys who stole it, of course, but I’m sure they didn’t exactly need it…
Anyway, he’s a charismatic guy and his followers are stupid enough to keep giving it to him, so he’ll make that much money back in another couple of weeks, I reckon. No harm done, right? Prai$e Je$u$!