Note: Stories for September-December are posted separately (as their own posts) since that’s when I moved from a hand-coded HTML website format to a blogging service.
Got an itty-bitty penis? Drive a Hummer? They go hand-in-hand, you know. And now you can actually adorn yourself with the stench of Hummer
, further enhancing the illusion that you actually have something down there worth speaking of. That’s right, now they’re making their own cologne…spray it on and watch the chicks snicker!
Wow, a RNC email which went out to hundreds of volunteers contained all kinds of juicy personal information. Is anyone surprised? It’s just more sloppy handling of private data by the Bushies in charge. Do you feel safer yet?
WHY in the world would the nation’s leading nutrition experts not recommend that we all eat less sugar? Why?? What reason could there possibly be for this astounding omission? Our country sucks down far too much sugar, any medical journal will tell you that (as well as watching sales & advertisements for sugar-based shitfood). Our kids are eating it like there’s no tomorrow. Everything is loaded with empty calories and carbohydrates with no nutritional value. Why didn’t this panel recommend that we cut back on it? And more importantly, which shitfood lobbyist group paid them the most money?
The marketing dorks just won’t stop until they achieve total saturation… Now they’re looking to increase the presence of advertisements in videogames. Sure, some games have little ads here or there, but they’re really looking to push them harder now. Can’t we just enjoy our games, people? Do you have to soil every enjoyable activity with your marketing crapola? Shame on you.
Finally, GlaxoSmithKlineWhatever is bowing to pressure to put all of their drug data online, not just the stuff that makes them look good and sell more products. Yes, some of their antidepressants do make people more suicidal. Isn’t that lovely? They feign innocence, but the most remarkable part of this story reads: A key to Spitzer’s case was an internal 1999 Glaxo document showed that the company intended to “manage the dissemination of data in order to minimize any potential negative commercial impact.” Does anyone still believe that these big pharmaceutical companies aren’t inherently evil? When it comes to consumer safety and full disclosure, they rank right up there with the cigarette companies.
This guy has way too much time (and money) on his hands…he’s buying up dozens of Democrat-related web domains and pointing them all towards George Bush’s website. Yeah, that’s gonna change peoples’ minds and hearts about how they want to vote. These domains will all be useless after the election, regardless of who wins. Happy spending, moron.
Oh, this is delicious… Dick Cheney’s daughter is a lesbian. Now, most reasonable & understanding parents of gay sons & daughters find it difficult to support discrimination against them (not all, unfortunately). Cheney is in the awkward position of having to support whatever arcane laws Bush wants to enact to uphold discrimination against homosexuals, but his daughter is gay…so he has to keep his own feelings about it private. But the one time he speaks publicly against this stupid anti-marriage amendment, his own party roasts him alive. This is what happens when you align yourself with intolerant people and you decide to voice a differing opinion. Too bad he’s too afraid to voice these principles more publicly, but it would create a division in the campaign so he’s mostly keeping it to himself. Enjoy the heat, Dick.
So Bush finally bows to pressure by the Kerry camp and condemns certain ludicrous and vicious anti-Kerry ads. But of course he took his sweet time, letting them trash and smear Kerry with their questionable “facts.” What good is your weak denouncement now, Dubya? Nobody believes for one second that you’re against these ads…if you really cared, you would have spoken up right at the beginning.
Another story from the Dept. of Religious Claptrap. So this little girl is deathly allergic to gluten, which is found in communion wafers. Does the church allow a substitution? Does the church make any effort to understand her problem? Does the church stop to consider that maybe God doesn’t care what’s in the wafer, but rather is more interested in her desire to worship the best she can? We’re dealing with religious rules manufactured by people in the name of God…if you don’t agree with Law #39X8473-B on page 845 of Volume IX of the Catalogue of Holy Laws and Stuff, you’re just plain out of luck…start packin’ your bags for Hell or Purgatory or wherever we think you’re going to go. Why? Because we said so. Who has time for God when we’re busy following rules & regulations? Now, kneel and open your pocketbook. Good girl.
So Senator Kennedy was “accidentally” put on the federal no-fly list…twice. Well, it seems to me that if this was some sort of accident, it wouldn’t have happened twice. Maybe he really shouldn’t be flying…who knows?
Hooray for tax cuts! Too bad we didn’t get one. Another burden for the rich to bear, I suppose. How can you Bushies possibly vote for this kind of crap?
Heeeeerrrre we go again, another warning about the omnipresent Al-Qaeda threat. Now they’re going to poison your medications, oh no! What’s next, poisoning the popcorn butter at your local cinema? Anyone can tamper with meds, it’s happened before (and not by terrorists). Notice how they only warn that imported drugs could be affected…not U.S. manufactured ones. Hmmm, isn’t it interesting that the FDA wants to keep cheaper versions of drugs out of the U.S. to protect our price-gouging pharmaceutical companies…and now we have this “warning” about poisoned imported drugs? I think I smell…wait…is it? Could it be…? Yes, I think it is…the smell is unmistakable… Good ol’ USDA Prime Government Bullshit, mmm-mmm!
Once again, people are turning to technology as a way to commune with God…and, as a result, further separating themselves from God. Now people are emailing prayers to temples and receiving text-message blessings on their cell phones, and they actually seem to think that this is going to bring them closer to the Divine. I don’t care what version of God you worship, but if you can’t be bothered to sit quietly and actually give your chosen deity a moment of your time, maybe you ought to just drop your charade and admit that your religious convictions pretty much a fashion accessory.
Bush stuck a foot in his mouth yet again recently while commenting on tribal sovereignty. “Tribal sovereignty means just that; it’s sovereign. You’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity.” Oh, so we gracefully gave them sovereignty, hmmm? That’s not how the American Indians view things…but we can’t expect Bush to actually know anything about what he’s commenting on. He’s just he President ‘n’ stuff.
I only found this little story on the BBC News, and (of course) on Michael Moore’s own site. Isn’t that interesting? He’s got interview footage of newly-appointed CIA director Porter Gross admitting that he’s completely unqualified for a job with the CIA. Seriously. Why aren’t more people reporting this?
Some people may disagree, but I think this is another case of the gay press overreacting to something that was probably just an off-the-cuff remark. I don’t think NFL sportsbot Terrell Owens was actually calling homosexuals rats. We’ve all heard the saying “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck”, right? And we’ve also heard the saying “I smell a rat!” as well. I think this guy was just getting his sayings mixed up. But of course the gay press jumps on it and says he’s attacking gays by calling them rats. Jesus, people, lighten up and stop trying to victimize the rest of us.
When are more Republicans going to come out of the closet and admit that the latest Iraq war was based on lies and distortion of facts? This guy did, but only during the last days before he retires. Sheesh.
This is amusing: Bush recently had to sit through a sermon on the evils of material wealth. As a rich man with many, many ties to rich people who routinely pull his puppet strings, I’m sure he nodded his head in agreement many times while the minister spoke, pretending to agree with all that was said. “Yeah, material wealth won’t get me into Heaven. Yeah, I know it’s bad ‘n’ stuff. MmmHmmm. Amen to that!” But his face probably had that blank, clueless stare which he wears so often. In his head, “Steamboat Willy” was playing. Mickey was whistlin’ and spinnin’ that ol’ wheel, and everything was just so happy and carefree. “That Mickey! What a hoot! Didja see that! Heh-heh, that boy just makes me giggle every time. What? Yeah, I’m listenin’.”
Further proof that popular country music is written for the lowest common denominator out there… Country-fried twit Charlie Daniels has basically called an entire group of people rag-heads with his song “This Ain’t No Rag, It’s A Flag.” What a clever rhyme, hyuk-hyuk! (This is from the same album which features a song called “What This World Needs Is A Few More Rednecks.”) He delivers such deep, thoughtful lyrics as: “This ain’t no rag, it’s a flag and we don’t wear it on our heads. It’s a symbol of the land where the good guys live. Are you listening to what I said?” Yeah, I’m listening. And what I’m hearing is the same old racism-sprinkled drivel that’s been oozing out of the country music scene since 9/11: we’re the good guys who can do no wrong, all non-Americans are “bad guys”, and we’ll be painting the rest of the world with broad strokes for years to come, right? ‘Cause we’re America, the center of the universe. And his statements on this matter indicate that he just can’t understand how this attitude can be insulting and offensive…he claims to be targeting only certain people, but his lyrics say otherwise. Well, the world is filled with enough hate…please keep your inbred, xenophobic tripe to yourself, asshole.
Dear God, help us… We are truly in Disney Branding Hell. Now Disney is selling its own PC, complete with *shudder* mouse ears. Oh yeah, and content-filtering software so you parents out there can give Disney full control of what your kid can see. That’s what Disney is here for, after all: to entertain and control. I wonder if they allow Disney-related pop-ups and banner ads…ya think? On a fun side note, one of Fox’s crackpot hosts decided to ream Disney president Robert Iger about Disney’s “Gay Days” in the middle of an interview about this new PC (thanks to Alec for sending this one along!).
This is one of the cleverest activist-geek things I’ve seen in a long time. This guy rigged his bicycle with a wireless-connected laptop and a homemade sign-writer for the sidewalk. People can send him text messages which will then “print” out on the pavement like a giant dot-matrix printer. Check out the original link for a photo.
What does the government do when a company which manufactures a popular AIDS drug decides to more than quadruple its price? Oh, nothing. Why should they care? It’s just people dying, that’s all. They have more important things to worry about, like fighting a fictitious drug war and warning America about phantom terrorists lurking in the shadows. Apparently, fear and corporate greed is more important than helping people live longer.
Anti-Bushies are having lots of fun with his latest dumbass remark. Yeah, he put his foot in his mouth yet again by saying exactly what he doesn’t mean, and we know he’s not really looking for more ways to harm our country. Right? Right??
A judge here in Seattle ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional recently. And, predictably, Christian Republicans are recoiling in horror. One of them actually says, “For the judge and the judicial branch to discover a right which has never existed in human history, has no precedent in American law or jurisprudence … is to go out into unknown territory with unknown social consequences.” Wait a minute…a right that “has never existed in human history”? Well, marriage between men and women didn’t exist until we decided to start doing it, right? What we’re dealing with here is a group of people who make all their decisions based on what a particular book says, not what is fair to their fellow humans. In our so-called Land of the Free, discrimination of ANY kind is wrong…at least, we like to pretend it is. But it’s as real as ever, and these people are happy with it as long as it suits their beliefs & agenda.
This is just too horrible for words… A supermarket catches fire, and employees lock the doors to keep people from escaping without paying first. 340 burn to death, many of which are found holding onto each other. Things like this make me ashamed of my species sometimes.