This really cracks me up. I remember getting my fingers pinched by crawdads when we used to catch them — it kinda teaches an early lesson that Nature doesn’t screw around!
I’m not even going to question why the hell a little girl is shooting an Uzi. This story is perfect just the way it is! It has everything you could expect from an incident in the gun-happy Southwest: a 9-year-old girl with an Uzi, a head wound, and a shooting range called Bullets and Burgers. NOT that anyone deserves to be shot in the head, but come on. You have to admit, this is pretty spectacular.
A shooting instructor at a gun range near Las Vegas is dead after being accidentally shot by a 9-year-old girl as he taught her to use an Uzi.
Charles Vacca, a 39-year-old instructor at Kingman, Arizona’s Bullets and Burgers, suffered “at least one shot to the head,” Monday morning, Mohave County sheriffs told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.
Yes, we all know that your kids are an extension of you, and that’s your biggest problem. You’re programming them with a taste for the kind of ridiculously overpriced (and, I must say, quite hideous) clothing you somehow think they would naturally choose for themselves, but let’s be honest: it really just comes down to molding your kids into a Mini Me version of yourself because it makes you feel better about getting older.
But these pieces — each with a price tag of $1,420 — are not for Monteiro to wear herself. A girl’s size 6 and a toddler size 2, the Bonnie Young outfits are for her adorable daughters.
Vera, age 4, and Yasmine, 5 months, are accompanying their label-conscious mom on the upcoming business trip and will be packing dozens of designer clothes from their miniature closets back home in Fort Greene. “My kids are an extension of me, and if they look good, I feel good,” says Monteiro, 35, a financial analyst-turned-shoe designer. “They’re my priorities in life and it’s nice to splurge.”
The most telling sentence in this story: “Many of our customers are affluent 30- and 40-somethings influenced by mommy blogs and actors who appear with their kids in celebrity magazines.” These “mommy bloggers” are notorious for being self-absorbed and turning their kids into little cult objects, so it’s not too surprising that they’re inspiring other self-absorbed parents to spend vast amounts of money on clothes their kids are too young to have an opinion about. It’s all for the parents’ benefit, to show the world their kids are somehow better. These are the same parents who use puke-inducing mobile apps like My Baby Just… to announce to the world every little thing their baby does, even though it’s not unique or special in any way and nobody really gives a shit.
Let your kids be kids. Quit smothering them with fashion and documenting every minute of their lives. Give your kids some room to breathe, for fuck’s sake.
A little girl in a toy store rants about girls being stuck with pink princessy toys and boys being stuck with superhero toys. ‘Tis a smart child who can see right through that gender-partitioning marketing bullshit! She’s my hero for the day.
Documenting this woman’s new spawn has become something of a tradition here at Quantum Moronics. First in 2004 (last paragraph), again in 2005, once more in 2007, and now here we are again. I must have missed spawn #18 and #19, perhaps a subconscious effort to not have to write about this crazy, irresponsible bitch and her disgusting horny husband again. But of course now I have to.
I bet you could drive this through her gaping, withered twatflaps.
The birth of a 20th baby from one set of parents is bound to raise some eyebrows — or drop some jaws and spur some expressions of horror. Add to the total number of children these tidbits: Mom is 45; the last Duggar addition — born in December 2009, three months early and at 1 pound, 6 ounces — began life in a neonatal intensive care unit; and the size of the family and its continued growth are the basis for a reality show.
On Tuesday, tweets included the unkind variety — “sick,” “stupid” and “out of control” — as well as the what-did-they-ever-do-to-you variety — “You are not impacted by them procreating.” And then there was the innocuous: “Have they not run out of names starting with J?” The kids are: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie.
Four-year-old Aelita Andre’s splattery paintings are heralded as the work of a Master…but honestly, I don’t see it. I’m no art major, but it looks to me like someone simply threw paint onto a canvas. Which she did, like any other child can. Her parents are artists, so I can imagine them thinking that everything she does is pure genius…
Anyway, this article is so incredibly pretentious that it’s worth reading. Here’s my favorite bit:
As you would expect from someone with such an impressive biography, Aelita’s art has a raw power that leaves viewers with a majestic impression of pure talent unearthed. Magnificently unrestrained, she channels a curiosity and vivacity so strong that it can easily be felt through her paintings, almost as if it constitutes a tangible force in the world.
So what do you think makes her splatterings so “masterful”? Am I blind to the MAJESTIC IMPRESSION OF PURE TALENT UNEARTHED??
This is fucking disgusting, but it works: if you can get children to recognize a brand and its characters early on, you’ll have customers for life. And that’s all they really are — they’re not fans, they’re customers. McDonald’s knows this (Happy Meals, anyone?) and other companies do it too, but now Disney’s taking it a step further. Lovely.
“Apparel is only a beachhead,” said Andy Mooney, chairman of Disney Consumer Products, about the opportunity to crack the estimated $36 billion/year baby product market in North America with everything from bath items to baby food to free theme park tickets for pregnant moms who sign up for e-mail alerts.
“To get that mom thinking about her familys first park experience before her baby is even born is a home run,” said Mooney, adding that a large number of families do not become consumers of Disney products until their children reach preschool age.
via The Consumerist