Over a year ago I posted about my new photo gallery of Grindr douchebags, and I haven’t really updated it since. Today I get word that someone’s created a website that pretty much copies the idea, appropriately called douchebagsofgrindr.com. If I’d had the time and energy (and the will) to devote to a website just for this, I shoulda done it when I had the chance!
Oh well, better that someone else carries on this important work! He seems to be targeting a different kind of douche than I was, anyway. I was picking out the popped-collar, pursed-lips kinda morons… But the d-bags on his site are pretty goddamn disgusting, I gotta tell ya.
A couple of years ago we decided never to stay on the Strip in Las Vegas again. There are several reasons for this, one of being that the place is completely overrun with douchebags wearing their douchey outfits acting like Grade-A douchebags. It’s simply America’s most popular douchebag destination and we can only take so much douche in one weekend. (Since then we’ve been staying off the Strip on Fremont St., where the douche levels are much lower.) So during our last stay in that hellhole, I started coming up with nicknames for the Vegas Strip. That eventually led to potential douchey restaurants, which I think are even funnier. 🙂
Nicknames for the Vegas Strip
- The Doucheiverse
(Or possible a.k.a. names for Hooters and Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and crap like that)
- The Douchery
- Chez Douche
- Paddy O’Douche’s
- Douchey McDoucherson’s
- Le Doosh
- Douche Towers
- The Doucheplex
- Cirque du Douche
- The Douche Barn
(Simply because “Chase” and “Cameron” are two of the Douchey Names of the Apocalypse)
- Crazy Chase’s Douche Emporium
- Cameron’s House of Tacos ‘n’ Twats
Wow, these guys must, like, totally feel empowered and stuff. So awesome, I mean, like, burning things that look like people really, you know, sends a strong, like, message and stuff. You know?
Christ, what unmitigated twatocity. But reverse the colors (black guys burning an effigy of a white President) and you’d have the building surrounded by police and the A.T.F. would be gearing up to storm the place and burn it to the ground.
As country music played and a pack of Marlboro menthols sat idly by, some bar patrons at a local watering hole in West Allis, WI burned an effigy of Barack Obama and cheered. Wisely, they took video. Here it is.
I’m endlessly entertained by Grindr, an iPhone app for gay guys. It’s meant to help guys hook up (or “make new friends”, wink-wink) but I just get on there for shits & giggles because it’s really a douchebag goldmine. It cracks me up to see some of these guys puffing themselves up to look as cool/hot/alluring/sexay as possible. Of course some guys are really into that, but I just find it hilarious. So here are some of the best ones I’ve seen around Seattle and Las Vegas (with a couple of doozies from Phoenix).
So visit the Douchebag Gallery if you dare! New ones will be added as they are discovered…
I’m so over this obsession with the trendy hipster subculture that all marketing departments for tech companies seem to have. Are douchey, hoodie-wearing guys with scraggly beards and morose girls with black-rimmed glasses the only people who might want to buy one of their products?
Not to mention that, as the article points out, Microsoft targeted hipsters with their first Zune advertising which was later blamed for its shitty sales. Interestingly enough, Apple has been targeting these people with their marketing for years and it’s worked like a charm, judging by all the sullen hipsters seen with MacBooks in coffeeshops all over the country. Maybe this population isn’t ready for market segmentation quite yet…
If there’s one word that comes to mind when you see Microsoft’s Kin marketing materials—the flashy new website, the swish tubular packaging, typography-heavy imagery, or the images, events and information loaded up on their demo devices—it’s hipster. The citizens of Kin live in Vice Magazine advertorial spreads, and look like they just walked, self-consciously, out of an Urban Outfitters. Kin’s models look like caricatures of those kids, from that neighborhood, in pretty much any city, as drawn by marketing executives.
Microsoft wants Kin to be cool. And to the extent that blunt HERE’S WHO THIS IS FOR marketing can make something cool, they might be able to pull it off. And I get that Microsoft is segmenting their phones, catering Windows Phone 7 to an older audience and the social network-centric Kin to the 16-to-25s, (Wilson’s sterling analysis here), but it’s turning out so much more narrow than that: Kin aims for a type of “cool” which hinges entirely on touchstones of a bizarrely specific subculture.
“Mancow”, one of the many loudmouthed douchebags of radio, has been demanding that waterboarding isn’t torture…so he volunteered to try it himself. How long did he last? Well, let’s just say it was far less than your average torture victim. So I guess he’s both full of shit AND a wuss.
Heh…I love it when über-macho types embarrass themselves. Now, if only we could get all these right-wing media twats to try it, we’d be in business!
I just HAVE to share this, it’s simply too horrifying not to. Grab a barf bag and prepare yourself.
A friend of mine has been seeing a guy who has used her, dumped her, taken her back, strung her along some more, and finally decided to dump her again and move away. But he still says he loves her and wants her to come visit, of course. Typical. Anyway he sent her this email the other day, it’s simply a masterpiece of douchebaggery. And the best part is yet to come…
If you’re anything like me you never check your work email so this will either never see the light of day or be a random piece of me fluttering in from nowhere. I hope that’s okay. I miss you you! I could use you down here. You could appreciate my sadness among all this beauty and freedom. Your the only one who understands me. I know we’re crush buddies, but on a deeper level we’re… tear twins I guess you could call it. Not many people would understand our sadness for sadness sake. don’t forget about me unless you need to. Remember the promise I made.
Crush buddies? TEAR TWINS?? Is this guy kidding? What does “don’t forget about me unless you need to” actually mean? And doesn’t that “big love” thing just make you want to puke your guts out? He probably thinks, “Yeah…she’s a chick, she’ll totally dig this. Chicks love that sensitive stuff.” But wait, here’s the best part: HER NAME ISN’T SHELLY. It’s not even close. He obviously copied & pasted this peepeecaca from an email he sent when dumping a previous girlfriend!
What. A. Twat.
This guy deserves a medal or a trophy or something. Perhaps a gold-plated turd would be in order.