I bought this card for my friend Randy 10 years ago (for Christmas, naturally) and I loved it so much I bought an extra one for myself. It’s one of my favorite cards ever and it still cracks me up!
How sweet it is! And who can be surprised? The singing, crying evangelical sock-puppets known as Paul and Jan “The Raccoon” Crouch have obviously, OBVIOUSLY been playing fast and loose with their followers’ cash for many years. All it takes to see this is to turn on the tube and watch these motherfuckers in their extravagant clothing on their lavishly-decorated set preaching and weeping to the gullible, pathetic masses to donate as much money as they can…because while God created the universe and all its beauty, somehow he’s constantly short on cash. I hope these two charlatans and their network go down in a giant ball of badly-coiffed flames. Hallelujah!
McVeighs lawsuit makes the most damning allegations, claiming “unlawful and unreported income distributions to Trinity Broadcastings directors” with “multiple jet aircraft, including a $50m Global Express luxury jet aircraft purchased for the personal use of the Crouches through a sham loan … as well as an $8m Hawker jet aircraft purchased by Trinity Broadcasting for the personal use of director Janice Crouch”.
It also describes the purchase of “multiple motor vehicles, including a $100,000 motor home purchased by Trinity Broadcasting as a mobile residence for director Janice Crouchs dogs”.
Directors of the network are also accused of misusing funds to cover up sex scandals, including the alleged “cover-up and destruction of evidence concerning a bloody sexual assault involving Trinity Broadcasting and affiliated Holy Land Experience employees; the cover-up of director Janice Crouchs affair with a staff member at the Holy Land Experience; the cover-up of director Paul Crouchs use of Trinity Broadcasting funds to pay for a legal settlement with Enoch Lonnie Ford a former TBN employee who said he had a homosexual affair with [founder] Paul Crouch”.
Tee-hee! I love it when conservative turds (conservaturds?) like this float to the surface. Just another closeted hypocrite caught in a very public way. I’m done feeling sorry for these assholes. (Oh wait, I never really did…)
I hope he bought a giant dildo that gave his cornhole a nasty skin rash.
SOUTHAVEN, Miss. — Receipts show Southaven Mayor Greg Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a family-values platform, charged the city $67 for a purchase at a gay sex shop in Canada.
The Mississippi auditor on Nov. 2 demanded Davis pay back more than $170,000 for personal expenses billed to taxpayers. There are no criminal charges from the auditor’s investigation. The FBI confirmed Dec. 7 that it is investigating Davis after the auditor’s probe showed possible violations of federal laws.
This is fascinating: science finally begins to unravel Bible stories among believers. I mean, the idea of all of humanity spawning from two people (one of whom magically created from the other’s rib) is simply preposterous, but people actually believe this stuff as if it’s 100% fact! But now some cracks are beginning to show as Christian scholars are beginning to admit that yes, maybe some of what we believe is utter bullshit.
Venema says there is no way we can be traced back to a single couple. He says with the mapping of the human genome, its clear that modern humans emerged from other primates as a large population — long before the Genesis time frame of a few thousand years ago. And given the genetic variation of people today, he says scientists cant get that population size below 10,000 people at any time in our evolutionary history.
To get down to just two ancestors, Venema says, “You would have to postulate that theres been this absolutely astronomical mutation rate that has produced all these new variants in an incredibly short period of time. Those types of mutation rates are just not possible. It would mutate us out of existence.”
Venema is a senior fellow at BioLogos Foundation, a Christian group that tries to reconcile faith and science. The group was founded by Francis Collins, an evangelical and the current head of the National Institutes of Health, who, because of his position, declined an interview.
And Venema is part of a growing cadre of Christian scholars who say they want their faith to come into the 21st century. Another one is John Schneider, who taught theology at Calvin College in Michigan until recently. He says its time to face facts: There was no historical Adam and Eve, no serpent, no apple, no fall that toppled man from a state of innocence.
So Republican rep Phillip Hinkle is the latest anti-gay dickbag to be caught trolling Craigslist for sex with young men. Seems like this happens once a week nowadays, doesn’t it? And on Craigslist, even! That’s the Penny Saver of sex shopping. Can we all just save some time and agree that ANYone this vehemently and publicly anti-gay is probably hiding a dirty little secret?
Oh yeah, he’s calling the scandal a “shakedown.” Really? Kinda like the way you shook down your grandpa trousers for this 20-year-old?
The emails, sent from Hinkle’s publicly listed personal address, ask the young man for “a couple hours of your time tonight” and offer him cash up front, with a tip of up to $50 or $60 “for a really good time.”
The email exchange is in response to the Craigslist posting in which the young man — who lists his age as 20 in the ad but says he is 18 years old — says, “I need a sugga daddy.”
The young man told The Star that they met, but that he tried to leave after the man told him he was a state lawmaker. He said the lawmaker at first told him he could not leave, grabbed him in the rear, exposed himself to the young man and then later gave him an iPad, BlackBerry cellphone and $100 cash to keep quiet.
When contacted by The Star about the emails, Hinkle, a Republican who represents portions of Pike and Wayne townships, did not contest the emails but said, “I am aware of a shakedown taking place.”
I love this story. I’ve always been mystified by these macho jocks who make a big public show of praying before a game and thanking God when they make a good play. AS IF God would ever waste one iota of his/her/its infinite consciousness on such trivial peepeecaca. How arrogant can you get?
So the big question now is: why don’t these ball-tossing mongoloids ever blame God when they fuck up? If you’re willing to believe prayer will magically make you play better, you should expect days when God just doesn’t give a shit.
It wasnt his own hands or the Pittsburgh secondary Sunday that foiled Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson from hauling in what should have been the game-winning TD catch in the end zone.
It was God.
“I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!!” the 24-year-old tweeted from his iPad at around 5:15 Sunday after the Steelers 19-16 overtime victory. “AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…”
Johnson had a perfect pass in his hands that would have given his team an overtime victory over the heavily favored Steelers.
Instead of walking off the field the hero, however, he dropped it.
Devastated, the 24-year-old watched in horror as the Steelers drove back down the field for the game-winning field goal.
While he seemed to hold it together on the sidelines, after the game, he later addressed the one person he found to blame on Twitter: God.
Johnson had seven catches for 68 receiving yards in the loss, but dropped at least three passes on the day.
Ohhh my dear Baby Jesus. Guess what? All those reusable grocery bags you’ve been using may actually contain lead. From China! Yes, instead of saving our precious Earth from total annihilation by not choosing plastic at checkout, you’ve actually been helping to KILL it. Thanks a lot, you fuckin’ lead-spreadin’ fascist! Way to make Mother Earth weep cold, cold tears…FILLED WITH LEAD!
I’m sorry, but this is really cracking me up. So many people out there really get into the resuable bag thing. I mean, they take it with deadly seriousness. Especially here in Seattle, where the streets practically flow with granola. I actually prefer canvas bags to plastic because they’re sturdier and hold more stuff, but most of these people smugly think that using reusable grocery bags will somehow save the Earth from utter destruction. In fact, Seattle has even started charging people for using plastic bags instead of paper or canvas. But this makes people feel good: “I’m doing my part. I’m using canvas bags to haul my food around. I’m saving the planet. If you can’t do the same, fuck you and pay your plastic tax!” Then they drive away in their rusty old gas-sucking VW van or pious Prius.
So just imagine how much hippie hand-wringing must be going on right now. It must be pretty brutal owning a dozen canvas bags and wondering if some or all are lovingly poisoned with lead.
Lead found in some reusable grocery bags is raising concerns that the toxin could pose environmental or health concerns to consumers.
Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., is asking for a federal investigation into the reusable bags following a series by The Tampa Tribune. The newspaper found lead in bags purchased at Winn-Dixie, Publix, Sweetbay, Walmart and Target.
Reusable bags are often sold by retailers and used by consumers instead of plastic bags. They may be canvas or made of recycled plastic. In some areas, consumers are charged a fee if they use a plastic bag from a store.
The concern is that lead in bags could cause environmental problems in landfills or leach into food products that are kept in them.
“Federal agencies need to put a ban in place for reusable bags that have lead in them,” Schumer said in a statement. In a letter asking the Food and Drug Administration to open an investigation into the issue, he says, “Any situation where lead bags are coming into contact with the food being purchased by Americans needs to be immediately investigated and resolved.”